9) ENLIGHTENMENT IS GIVING UP THE NOTION THAT YOU ARE UNENLIGHTENED


What happened:

As the plane flew closer to the drop-zone, I sat in the doorway dangling my feet in space, awaiting my turn to jump out. Many reasons arose in my mind as to why I should cancel the skydive, even at that advanced stage of the project.

Abstract:

Completion is a state which you and I actively, creatively (paradoxically) resist.

Observation:

      I had already given my word that I would complete the skydive, no matter what my mind or emotions had to say about it. I noticed that neither that fact nor the imminent completion of BREAKTHROUGH SKYDIVING had any bearing on how much sway my mind and emotions actually had over me at that point. At times I began to submit to the reasons why I should call off the skydive. I noticed that there was not one single thought or emotion that actively encouraged me to continue.

      When my jumpmaster, shouting in my ear so as to be heard above the noise of the engine, told me that my moment to jump out of the door had finally come, it took me a second or two to desist buying into the racket my mind and emotions were making. I eventually did jump, and came to earth well over one hundred yards off target.

Conclusions:

It is at the point of imminent completion, imminent transformation to a new stage or even to a new state when I am likely to resist most fiercely what I originally came here to do. At that point, the commitment that I am my word that I would make something happen takes a back seat to my own reasons and excuses. My word appears to be justifiably null and void.