This essay,
All I See Is You,
is the companion piece to
Day Service.
Arguably it's the pivotal differentiation of
transformation ie the after as opposed to the
before. With the smoke cleared and the dust settled, what's left
is who we really are - as opposed to who we once thought
we were, who we'd like to be, who we put ourselves forth as, even who
we were
afraid
we might really be. Then one day, one
extraordinarily ordinary
unexpected day, what dawned on me was who I really am, and
it just blew me away. Really. I could hardly recognize it
as who I really I am. I could almost not take in that it was who
human beings
really are. Being it, I can barely recognize myself (at least compared
to who I was before). And yet it really is who I am. It really is who
we are. There's no doubt about it, not one shred of doubt, not one
iota, not a scintilla.
Commonly
(it turns out) who we think we are ie who we covertly albeit
unknowingly pass ourselves off as, is but a caricature of who we really
are.
It's a fascinating transition (to say the least) from who we think we
are, from who we'd like to be, from who we put ourselves forth as, from
whom we're
afraid
we might really be etc to who we really are. But that's only the
beginning of what's fascinating. What's really fascinating
is how you now occur for me, given my own transformation
of who I am, and thus how I now occur for myself. Watch: who I really
am is
everything
(or at least I'm
the contextual space
in which
everything
occurs) ... and nothing ie who I really am (in one of
Werner's
ways of saying it) is everythingnothing. That's who I really am.
So (don't get too smart about this) that's who you really are
too. While we pride ourselves in being unique, special, different
etc, all
human beings
are
human beings.
We're the same. Who you really are also, is
everything
(or at least you're
the contextual space
in which
everything
occurs) ... and nothing. I look at you now. What do I see? I see what I
see when I see myself (what else would I see? what else is
there to see?): I see
everything.
That means if I look at anything, all I see is you ie all
I'm seeing is you. It's a simple equation: who I am is
everything;
so who you are is
everything
also; so all I'm seeing is you.
It's a revelation that alters
reality.
But let's be clear about this:
reality
can't be altered. So it's a revelation that alters
interimreality,
or at the very least it's a revelation that alters our
perception of
reality.
With that now distinguished, saying it's a revelation that alters
reality,
is
good enough for
jazz.
And when it does, it shifts almost all of the rules under which we
live. Who you are isn't limited by the boundaries of your body ie by
your skin-bag, as if it were some caricatured cardboard cut-out
representation of you. Who you also are, like me, is everythingnothing,
all and
everything.
It tells me that anywhere I look, no matter what's there, all
I'm seeing is who you really are.
Tersely stated,
all I see is you / all I'm seeing is you. It takes a moment to get it,
but there it is.
Oh, how enormous! And if you let it in, it will draw into sharp relief
the way we live our lives incongruent with who we really are. It's so
huge I barely know what to do with it. But look: there may not be
anything that could or should be done with it at all. There may be
nothing I can apply it to ie no use for my benefit and /
or advantage. So I do nothing with it. I simply let it be that way ie I
simply let you be the way you are / what you are, and take it all in -
or at least try to take it all in. It's so
vast
it evades thought, logic, and applied language. Any
words
I try out to apply to it ie with which to describe it, will not fit it
exactly and may even damage our idea of it. There are those things we
can talk about if we want to share them. There are other things for
which talking about is not
a matching tool for the
job.
They are the things which we have to be if we want to
share them. This distinction "All I see is you" is such a one.
