I don't intend to redefine honoring your word in this
conversation in my own way. That's not what this conversation
should do or is about. The definition of honoring your word put forth
by Werner, Michael, Steve, and Kari in the
Werner Erhard Paper
Experience
is masterful, complete, and sufficient. I strongly recommend you read
it and familiarize yourself with it at the links provided above. Given
I've listened their work, it would be
inauthentic
if I propose my own definition of honoring your word or (worse)
repackage their definition as mine.
What I do intend to do here, what would be authentic for
me to do here, is to share the valuable insight I get from Werner,
Michael, Steve, and Kari's definition of honoring your word which not
only empowers me but also clears up confusion and obfuscation in and
around the area of
keeping my
word
and what this bodes for integrity.
As in Life, I've grown up in
Werner's work.
It isn't static. It's a constantly unfolding process. Things I
thought, wrote, and spoke years ago which were
breakthroughs
for me at the time, now sometimes seem trite to me, not
fully developed, at times even naïve. Not wrong. Not
invalid. Just young. As transformation develops, new
opportunities and possibilities emerge. And along with them, new
insights and ideas. Maturer insights and ideas.
When I was younger (but not much younger) I considered a key component
of integrity to be keeping my promises ie to be
keeping my word.
I'm not about to change this. When I'm in integrity I
keep my word.
And I
keep my word
not in order to be good, not in order to be upright, not
even in order to do the right thing. It's none of the above.
Rather, when I'm in integrity I
keep my wordin order to
keep my word.
Or, said another way, when I'm in integrity I
keep my wordbecause I
keep my word.
And if I don't
keep my word
then I say I'm out of integrity.
That's how it was when I was younger.
Here's the problem with that:
Defining integrity in terms of
keeping my word
doesn't allow for me notkeeping my word
yet having my integrity intact. Said the other way, defining integrity
in terms of
keeping my word
doesn't allow for me being in integrity when I'm not
keeping my word.
Wait! Is this even possible? Is it possible to not
keep your word
yet still be in integrity? There's no question about it: as a bastion
of integrity,
keeping my word
is paramount.
With that in mind, consider these situations:
I promise to go to the village tomorrow to stock up with groceries.
Tomorrow I discover a landslide has covered the road with boulders. I
can't go to the village to stock up with groceries.
Clearly I didn't
keep my word.
But am I out of integrity?
What if I promise to do a job a certain way, then later realize
there's another way to do it which
works better?
I do it the way which
works better,
more effectively, and more efficiently. Oh, and I complete it under
budget two weeks early. I didn't do what I originally promised. Am I
out of integrity?
What if I promise to do something, and then an emergency comes up
which demands my attention leaving no time for me to fulfill on my
promise? Am I out of integrity?
What if I promise to do something, and then I simply change my
mind? Am I out of integrity?
The answers to all of the above are yes I'm out integrity
if I define integrity in terms of
keeping my word.
Defining integrity solely in terms of
keeping my word
is what I did when I was younger.
Pretty soon I start to notice this definition of integrity is
inadequate. Pretty soon I start to notice defining integrity in terms
of
"keeping my wordnomatterwhat" really blurs
integrity with being good (morality), with being upright
(interpretation),
and with doing the right thing (judgement). And integrity is really
none of the above. So what's integrity?
Werner
Erhard
asserts integrity isn't so much
keeping your
word, as it
is honoring your word. Furthermore it's honoring your word
as yourself. What's the difference? How does this play out in
real time?
As soon as I know I've not
kept my word
or am not
keeping my word
or won't be
keeping my word,
I can let the people know who count on me to keep my word, that
I haven't
kept my word
or am not
keeping my word
or won't be
keeping my word.
I can clean up any mess my not
keeping my word
causes by taking responsibility for it. I can then remake my promise,
make an entirely new promise, or not promise again. This way, even when
I'm not
keeping my word
I'm being responsible for my word, honoring it as myself. By
honoring my word as myself, I'm in integrity.
It's often noted the bigger you get, the more you take on. The more you
take on, the
vaster
your game is. The
vaster
your game is, the huger your promises become. The huger
your promises become, the likelihood you won't keep all of them
expands exponentially so much so that it's also often
noted "If you're
keeping all your promisesyou're playing too small.".