If you want to be in a relationship with me, and if I'm available to be
in a relationship with you, you should be aware at the outset you're
going to be in a threesome.
all my relationships, past, present, and future, inside of my
relationship with Life itself.
In the past, I've mismanaged my relationship with Life itself - that is
to say, I've dithered in prioritizing my relationship with
Life itself. While I've always had my intention on it, I
haven't always had my attention on it. My relationship
with Life itself first
as the context for all my relationships. Then when my relationships got
significant (you could say when they became "hot and
heavy"), I somehow lost the context. At that point, my relationship
with Life itself became just another one of my relationships, rather
than the context for all my relationships.
Incorrectly prioritized that way, or should I say
prioritized that way, they caused more trouble than they were worth. If
I'm generous and I don't refer to them as "trouble", I'd say they were
expensive learning experiences.
Then I recovered my relationship with Life itself as context, as
Or rather, I renewed my stand for it. I stopped being
flaky about it. "I stopped being flaky about it" isn't
exactly the most dignified expression of what shifted for me. But it
actually says it best. And in this renewed context, in this renewed
I have the space to be in carefully managed relationships again. Even
the significant ones ie even the "hot and
heavy" ones are carefully managed.
By managed relationships, I don't mean
manipulated relationships. By managed relationships, I
mean relationships in which I've taken responsibility for being
related in such a way that they don't supersede my
relationship with Life itself. My primary relationship is forever with
Life itself. As soon as other relationships supersede my relationship
with Life itself, they steadily degrade once my
is overshadowed by them ie when I allow my
to be overshadowed by them. That's when new relationships suffer.
That's when they're adversely affected. They degrade simply because
they overshadow the very quality which made them attractive in the
I take responsibility for this. And I take responsibility for declaring
it in a way that's authentic.
It's not easy to tell the truth about this without sounding arrogant.
My best expression of it - so far - is "If you want to be in a
relationship with me, and if I'm available to be in a relationship with
you, you should know at the outset you're going to be in a threesome.
And inside of this threesome, you're not going to occupy either
position #1 or position #2.". That may sound arrogant, to be sure. It's
Only those who get it and are OK with it will ever make it with me.