"The moment
when you really experience that you have created yourself being
whatever way you are, at that same
moment
you will never have to be that way again."
Before embarking on one of
Werner's
riveting, fascinating projects, the process of which involved
unflinchingly
examining the ways we are ie the ways we judge /
consider
ourselves to be, I had no sense of ever having created
myself being any particular way before. I had
considered
myself to be fun-loving, humorous,
romantic,
and occasionally prone to
being sad.
For me, those ways were just the ways I was, like I was born being
those ways. I regarded being those ways as if being those ways was
etched into my DNA. But the idea of ever having created
myself being those ways, never entered into the picture.
At some point in this ongoing
conversation with Werner,
it occurred to me like
a lightning bolt
in a dark night, that I wasn't born being those ways (or any other
ways, for that matter), that the truth was closer to that I had
created myself being those ways. I began to see that if I
held it that I was born being those ways, I had no
access
to
choice in the matter,
but if I held it that I had created myself being those ways, then I had
access
to
choice in the matter.
But
why?Why
do we create ourselves being any particular ways? What do we get out of
it?
The reasonswhy
we / I do that, are legion, documented in huge libraries and designated
stackrooms of
theses
and books. But it wasn't the plethora of
reasons
we create ourselves being those ways (all of which have been
well-scrutinized by the experts) which got me, as much as
it's our latent drive to get some leverage, benefit, and edge in our
lives, that grabbed
my attention.
So we create ourselves being some or all of those ways because there's
some value for us being those ways. We deploy being those ways simply
because there's something in it for us. Try this on for size: those
ways are not traits we were somehow born with (or born "as") like DNA
helixes. Rather, it's we who created ourselves being those ways because
there's something of value in it for us even in
being sad.
DNA's got nothing to do with it.
Look: it's a really
big deal
to
discover
that the ways we are, aren't necessarily fixed ways / traits we're born
with, that they aren't necessarily encoded in our DNA helixes, and
instead are ways we created ourselves being.
Why
does that have such import ie
why
is it such
a grand discovery?
Because if it's true that we create outselves being those ways, we can
then choose to not create ourselves being those ways.
Indeed, once we
discover
that the ways we are, aren't necessarily ways we're born with, and
instead that the ways we are, are ways we created ourselves being, then
we
discoverthe miraculous choice
to not create being those ways any more. If we can choose
to be those ways, then we can choose to not be those ways. As
Werner
notes,
the moment
we really experience that we've created ourselves being whatever ways
we are, at that very same
moment
we will never have to be those ways again (Wow!).
Whenever I notice that I'm being a certain way (like say,
sad),
it would be one thing if being that way was burned into my DNA, and
over which I had no power. But it would be another thing entirely to
discover
that
"sad"
isn't located in my DNA at all ie that I wasn't born
sad,
but that
"sad"
is rather just something I create (arguably in language
... which is a subject for another
conversation
on another occasion). What becomes clear is that if we have the power
to create it (whatever "it" may be), then we have the power to
not create it ie we can stop creating it ie
we can even un-create it. That's powerful stuff, good
juju. Being open to the possibility / realizing that we create
ourselves being the ways we are, is
an access
to not having to be those ways again.
