Conversations For Transformation:
Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard
Conversations For Transformation
Essays By Laurence Platt
Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard
And More
On Waiving The Right To Be Dissatisfied
Schramsberg Estate, Calistoga, California, USA
April 23, 2017
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting
different results."
... Rita Mae Brown
There are various
ways
we deal with
being
dissatisfied - which is to say there are various things we try when
we're dissatisfied. If we tell
the truth
about them, we already know from
experience
that almost none of them produce satisfaction. Yet we plug away at
them, ever hopeful they'll eventually
work.
How strange is that?! It's a noteworthy if not curious
quirk of us
human beings
that we do the same things over and over and over again, each time
expecting them to turn out differently.
One
way
we deal with
being
dissatisfied, is by distracting ourselves. We drink. We
self-medicate.
We smoke. We overeat. We go away. Then we do all of the above all over
again (plus we try more and better and different versions of all of the
above) because we're still dissatisfied. Another
way
we deal with
being
dissatisfied is we take it out on
people.
We yell at
the children.
We're truculent with strangers. We honk and give the
finger
to other
motorists
on the
freeway.
And none of it makes any difference: we're still dissatisfied. Yet
another
way
we deal with
being
dissatisfied, is we embark on pursuits we
believe
will satisfy us. We take up hobbies. We volunteer for what we deem to
be worthy causes. We paganistically discard all mores, and do
absolutely anything we
get
the urge to do (and when I say "anything" I do mean
anything ...). There's more: we pout, we sulk, we
complain, we grumble. But it's all to no avail: at the end of the day
we're still dissatisfied.
If you've ever
inquired
into the
conversations
which comprise
being
dissatisfied, you would've noticed we're sure there's something lacking
ie you would've noticed we're sure there's something we have to
do which we're not doing, in order to be satisfied. And I'll
bet if you've looked, you've also noticed there's an unadmitted,
undistinguished
belief
that we're 'sposed to do something about
being
dissatisfied. We have it that we're 'sposed to find that as yet missing
activity which, when we're engaged in it, will satisfy us ... and
it's just a matter of us figuring out what the heck the
god-damned
thing could be!
In the meantime until we figure it out, we indulgebeing
dissatisfied. Said another
way,
we are that we have the right to be
dissatisfied.
Stop!
Look back very carefully at that last sentence "Said another
way,
we are that we have the right to be
dissatisfied.". It sure sounds like there's a mistake in it, doesn't
it? Didn't you
intend
to say "Said another
way,
we are that we have the right to be satisfied" rather
than "... the right to be dis-satisfied",
Laurence?
No. I did
intend
to say "Said another
way,
we are that we have the right to be dissatisfied.". The subtle
distinction and the
powerful
leverage it affords, is the gist of this
conversation.
We are that we have the right to be dissatisfied. And no
one wants to waive their rights, yes? (sit with it for a
moment
in your lap, like a hot
brick).
My
intention
is to tease out the
possibility
of waiving the right to be dissatisfied. Whatever it is that has
us indulge
being
dissatisfied, followed by whatever we do in order to be satisfied, I
suggest we simply
consider
the
possibility
of paying it no heed ie giving it up ie dropping it ie ceasing
trying to be satisfied. This is more than merely ignoring
being
dissatisfied in our spectrum of
experience,
as an option. That ain't it. It's waiving the right to be dissatisfied.
Period. That's really fundamental.