I'm totally clear about what I'm doing. I'm creating
Conversations For
Transformation
on the internet, inspired by the ideas of Werner Erhard, for
potentially millions of people. There's fear and there's awe. If I make
a mistake, it's huge.
Here's how I deal with the
fear
of making a mistake: I let the
fear
be. If I'm clear about my intention, if I'm clear about transformation,
if I come from transformation, if I get myself out of
the way, if I leave people with the possibility of transformation,
that's what works. It's a huge win. But it's not about me: it's about
people.
I dare myself to take this on. So I do. From time to time in the
background is the stagefright chatter jabbing me saying
I'll misrepresent it. It's been there for so long, this static, this
background noise, hissing and buzzing like a not properly tuned
radio station while I'm driving in my car. I let it be, not ignoring
it, not
resisting
it, and drive on. I'm never driving with the radio silent. There's
always static, hiss, and buzz. Yet I'm driving on.
I publish my work immediately to the internet, both the
works in progress,
no matter what state they may be in (that's my
glass walled
studio
commitment), as well as the completed works. Then I read them on the
internet - again and again and again and again and again and again. I
read them as if I'm surfing the internet for the first time. I read
them as if I've never read them before. I read them as if I've never
heard of Werner Erhard before, as if I've never heard of
Werner's work
before, as if I've never heard of transformation before. As I read and
re-read them like that, I ask myself "What does this leave me, the
reader, with? What access does this give me?".
Issues of integrity come up. Issues of
confidentiality
come up. Can I say this? Can I say that? Where's the line, the
sacred line, between sharing my source and protecting my
source?
I don't know how to do this. I come from "I don't know
how to do this". I REALLY don't know how to do this.
But what I do know is I love the possibility of transformation more
than I love life itself.
So I draw on that, and then I say whatever I say, and then I write
whatever I write, and then I read whatever I've written, and if I'm
clear it comes from "I Love The Possibility Of Transformation More
Than I Love Life Itself", and if there's integrity, and if the
confidentiality
is of the supreme order, and if I've honored and protected my source
even while I'm sharing my source (that's hard - to do both at the same
time!), and if people can get a taste of transformation from what I've
written, and if I can say "Wow! That's awesome, Laurence!", then
I let it be out there in the universe on the internet. Otherwise I
erase it or change it or or pull it back entirely until I can source it
again in a way that works.
When I've read whatever I've written - again and again and again and
again and again and again - and there's not ... one ...
thing left to erase or change, the piece is
complete. Then, like
David
once Michelangelo has finished the work, I'll not touch it again.
This is the work I was born to do. This is my life. I want no other.
If there's a typo or an error of fact, if there's a
correction for me to make,
just say
so
and I'll make it - immediately, no questions asked. My intention is for
this to work for you, for it to support your intention to transform
your life again and again and again, for it to support your intention
to expand its possibilities again and again and again and again and
again.