I am indebted to Michael Reid who inspired this conversation, and to
Nancy Scott who contributed material.
This conversation isn't "the truth". Rather it's a powerful
platform on which to stand and look at whatever's going on
with you.
Whatever's going on with you is
OK the way it is.
Really it is. It may not always feel like it.
It may not always look like it. But
it's OK the way it is.
Really! ... it is. You're fine just the way you are, and just the way
you aren't.
Having whatever's going on with you be
OK the way it is
ie getting clear about
the way it is
requires getting clear about whatever's there - without
bias, without preference. Given you're human, you're biased and you've
got preferences. If you tell the truth about it, you'll notice neither
your bias nor your preferences have much power, sway, or influence over
what's going on with you. Getting clear about what's going on with you
requires a certain
rigor
to not distinguish only that which you like ie to not
distinguish only that which you vote for. It
also requires distinguishing evenhandedly that which you
don't like ie that which you vote against. It requires you
evenhandedly say whatever's there, with the emphasis on
"whatever's" there. When you say whatever's there,
you say anything and everything that's there, regardless
of your personal preference.
To be clear in this conversation, don't blur, don't
confuse, don't obfuscate, don't misalign
"speak your mind"
and / or
"tell it like it is"
with "say whatever's there" - nor, for that matter, with
each other. There's nothing inherently wrong with speaking your mind -
unless it sanctifies venting ie not being responsible for
your communication. There's nothing inherently wrong with telling it
like it is - unless you don't own it's always and only your opinion ie
your
point of
view
of how it is. Neither "speak your mind" nor "tell it like it is" are
implied by (and neither of them are the same as) "say whatever's
there".
When you say whatever's there, you say whatever's going on in your
experience right now - without embellishment, without
explanation, without excuse, without
interpretation,
without analysis, nakedly, unflinchingly, openly, honestly. The
access to getting clear with whatever's there ie the
access to getting clear with whatever's going on with you is to simply
look. Look into the space ... and say whatever's there - as if
in answer to the inquiry "What's there?". Say only
whatever's there ie say only whatever's going on in your experience
right now - no embellishing, no explaining, no apologizing
nor excusing, no translating or
interpreting,
no analyzing. Just nakedly, unflinchingly, openly, honestly say
whatever's there.
In this process you wouldn't answer the question "What's there?" for
example with "I feel happy". That's what you're feeling
not what you're seeing in the space. Neither would you say
"I feel happy because ..." and nor would you say "I'm
happy which means ...". Instead, in answer to "What's
there?" you may say "Happiness". In this process you wouldn't answer
for example "I feel sad". That's what you're feeling not what you're
seeing in the space. Instead, in answer to "What's there?" you may say
"Sadness". You may say "Frustration". You may say "Defeat". You may say
"Love". You may say "Enthusiasm".
You may see and say experiences you wish you don't have like sadness,
frustration, and defeat. You may see and say experiences you enjoy like
love and enthusiasm. What's interesting about this process is when you
can see and say, clear and straight, those experiences you wish you
don't have like sadness, frustration, defeat et al, only then can you
start getting leverage over ie only then can you start getting mastery
over all of it being
OK the way it is
given we're already thrown to deem those experiences we
enjoy to be
OK the way it is.
Just remember there's no guaranteed relationship between, there's no
promised correlation with ie there may not always be
congruency
in
the way it is
and what you enjoy.
The first step toward having sadness be
OK the way it is
is to see it for what it is right now - say whatever's
there, without embellishment, without explanation, without excuse,
without
interpretation,
without analysis, nakedly, unflinchingly, openly, honestly.
Don't say "I'm sad" - as bold and as unflinching as this particular
form of the expression is. Say "There's sadness.". Say whatever's
there. The first step toward having frustration be
OK the way it is
is to see it for what it is right now - say whatever's
there, without embellishment, without explanation, without excuse,
without
interpretation,
without analysis, nakedly, unflinchingly, openly, honestly.
Don't say "I'm frustrated" - as bold and as unflinching as this
particular form of the expression is. Say "There's frustration.". Say
whatever's there. The first step toward having defeat be
OK the way it is
is to see it for what it is right now - say whatever's
there, without embellishment, without explanation, without excuse,
without
interpretation,
without analysis, nakedly, unflinchingly, openly, honestly.
Don't say "I'm defeated" - as bold and as unflinching as this
particular form of the expression is. Say "There's defeat.". Say
whatever's there.
Don't try to change what's going on with you. Don't avoid it. Don't
add to it. Don't take away from it or fix it. Keep your
fingers out of the machinery.
Let whatever's going on with you be going on with you. Let it be there.
Sit with it in your lap ... like a hot
brick.
Don't do anything with it.
It's OK the way it is.
