My first definitive, beyond any shadow of doubt, proof in the pudding,
"This is it!" experience of
the fourth weekend of August
called me to share the experience.
It was using me
as my life was given by it, so I looked for an effective definition of
it. The one I favored at first was this one by Werner Erhard:
Vintage Erhard. It's brilliant. I like it. I love it, in fact. It's
what's known as a
ie when something is defined in terms of itself. To speak
(if you will) is almost always a no no. And
yet when it comes to
there's no other implement of
quite as fitting, quite as a match for the job as a
with my family and friends at first, I hadn't yet mastered languaging
definition. So I was not effective in sharing
transformationby definition other than to convey a hint of
and a vague hint at best. To be sure, where I was coming
from when I shared
by definition was the power, freedom, and magic of
So they knew something was up with Laurence! That much was
unavoidable. They knew something had shifted big time. So did I!
They sat, enraptured, listening to my admittedly too cerebral, too
intellectual definition of the experience which had
my life. Although they got it viscerally anyway, you can't, after all,
describe something in terms of itself to people who haven't yet had the
experience of that something itself in the first place - not unless
it as a
And so I happened on another definition of
also by Werner, which I personally liked better and found more
appropriate to my personal style of sharing. That's the way it is with
definitions. They're like screwdrivers. You don't need to explain
why a particular screwdriver is best for a particular job.
If it works you use it. And if it breaks you get another one.
of high quality and lasting value, or showing the best and most
typical characteristics of a particular type of thing, especially from
To create anything, to create creating, you first have to
distinguish you, the creator, as distinct from the automatic
that runs almost every aspect - if not all aspects - of
your life. Without a creator there is no creating. It's all automatic.
In the space of it's all automatic, all you can be at best is at the
effect of things. You can change things, fix things, add things, take
things, dominate things, or avoid being dominated by things. But
there's no creating. There's no bringing forth anything new. It's all
the same old same old,
and (much to our chagrin and sometimes even to our horror) we know
Perhaps you know that, and you think no one else does. Perhaps you
think everyone else knows the secret, the answer, and you don't.
Perhaps - in the space of it's all automatic - you can't believe this
is all there is. But whatever it is and however it shows up for you,
without a you the creator, that's pretty much it: automatic and
continuing on and on at this petty pace (as
may have said), taking you along with it whether you're a willing
passenger on the ride, or not. Vintage Erhard.
Who is (if you will) the you in the matter of your own
life? Living effectively, living prosperously, living richly, even
living successfully aren't indicators you are present or
even known. The automatic has been turning all this out for eons -
without you being required. At best it's a crap shoot. At
worst it's just survival. You become effective to avoid the domination
of the automatic. You become prosperous to not have to confront the
automatic. You get rich to not have to face the automatic. You even
become successful to not have to deal with the automatic. You become
effective ... because you are afraid of it. You become prosperous ...
because you are afraid of it. You get rich ... because you are afraid
of it. You even become successful ... because you are afraid of
Now I'm not saying there's anything wrong with any of
that. I'm saying if there's no distinction you in the
matter of your own life, then it's all automatic. An
automatic life isn't a
An untransformed life is not
So who then exactly is the you in the matter of your own
life? Who is the you who speaks "I"? According to
and others, you'll come back ie reincarnate many lifetimes, perhaps
thousands of lifetimes ... or so they say ... until you
get who you are.
Try this on for size: who you are, essentially, is the
of the distinction the automatic. That's the created
ie defining you in terms of yourself. That's bringing
forth ie creating you. And creating is simply a matter of
You won't get anything from this distinction. You can't use it. You
can't sell it. You can't trade it to survive. It won't make anything
better, and (worse) it won't change anything. Not one
thing. But if you're listening, you may get
from this distinction. That's real wealth. Then you own it all.
All of it. And with everything, anything is possible.