I am indebted to Geoff Heise who contributed material for this
This is amazing (communication is amazing)! Here's one of the things
that's amazing about it: when I communicate clearly, youshow up
/ occur for me as a better communicator. You
clearer, more attentive,
thoroughly and totally with me. Yet it is I in
communicating with you that has you occur that way for me. That's wild,
truly (as they say) far out: I communicate clearly ...
you become a better communicator? Wow!
Hmmm ... what makes it work this way? I've looked, and my answer is:
I don't know. No, it's more than that actually. It's I really
don't have any idea why it works either. It ... just ...
works this way. I communicate clearly (or at least I
communicate clear-er) ... and as if by
you're a better communicator - that is to say, when I'm a better
communicator, when I communicate clearly, you
as a better communicator. That's profound (it's also very
Look: I don't need to understand what makes this work, for it to work.
That's the booby prize. I'm not looking to explain and I don't need to
explain why it works, for it to work. Being able to explain it, isn't
a prerequisite for it to work (I don't need to explain a screwdriver: I
rotate it, and if it doesn't work, I get another one). Yet its
workability is observable and obvious: when I communicate clearly with
for me as a better communicator.
Communication's like that. Mostly it takes two to tango (or at least
that's what they say). Yet enlivening authentic communication may only
require one. One person (moi) is enough to enliven the
space of authentic communication, and in so doing inspire / tease out /
trigger authentic communication from us all.
If I were to explore this further ie if I had to venture what I think
makes it work, if I had to take a shot at it, if I were to hazard a
guess, I would postulate something akin to this: "When I communicate
clearly, you're a better communicator because
is seductive, irresistible, alluring, enrolling.".
What? Now wait a moment:
What does that even mean Laurence: "When I communicate clearly, you're
a better communicator because
presence of Self
is seductive, irresistible, alluring, enrolling"? What does
"presence of Self"
have to do with communication ie with being in communication?
Presence of Self:
when we bring forth who we really are (which we do simply by speaking
intently and listening powerfully), it creates a condition for
Self to be presenced
to reveal itself, to come forth. It creates (in a word) the space to
BE. When we bring forth who we really are, those within earshot
and close proximity (that is: those in range) get
presence of Self
as an invitation, as a possibility, as an opening to
too, speaking intently and listening powerfully
(presence of Self
Self to be presenced).
And that's (or it's what makes for) real, authentic, powerful
But how? / why? Again, I don't know - suffice to say
presence of Self is just
this way: seductive, calling us to come out to
That may be why when I communicate clearly, you occur as (you become) a
better communicator. But I don't really know for sure if that's
It's just my guess.