Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

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Context, Word, And Un-Ego:

Who Are We Really???

Cowboy Cottage, East Napa, California, USA

December 26, 2022


"It's much easier to ride the horse in the direction he's going."
... 
"Ego is the functioning of one's point of view in the attempt to cause that point of view to survive. The verb 'to ego'  means 'to perpetuate one's own point of view'."
... 
"Who you mean when you say 'I' / 'me' is not you. It's just something that shows up for you."
... 
This essay, Context, Word, And Un-Ego: Who Are We Really???, is the companion piece to Just Another Piece In The World: Access To Mastery.

It is also the prequel to No Precedent (Get Over It).

I am indebted to Dianne Morrison who inspired this conversation.


Who are we? I mean, who are we really???

<aside>

For this inquiry, "What  are we really???" also works.

<un-aside>

It sounds simple enough. Yet it's anything but. It's actually a daunting question. And it's daunting not once but twice. First, it's daunting because it seems  like there's an obvious answer, like it's a gimme  (for example: "I'm Laurence", "I'm a Brit", "I'm a nice guy", etc) and yet as soon as I get below the surface of it, I'm amazed to see there's depth beyond imagination. Second, it's daunting that we can live our entire lives and only cursorily know who we are really.

It's the latter that's the most daunting to me. We truly don't know who we are really. Yet we live pretending that we do know, throughout everything we do. The horse is being ridden. That much is obvious. But we have no idea  who's riding it, and yet somehow we're alright with that. Somehow we're OK with it.

"Who are we really???". It's a great question, arguably the  great question. But even if you have an already-answer for it, don't offer it too quickly. Why? It's likely just a pat answer. Pat answers seduce us. Yet our most powerful  answers aren't pat. Our most powerful answers come from dwelling in the question.

Consider this scenario: you and a partner face each other. You ask "Who are you really???". Your partner comes up with an answer. "Thank You" you say, "who are you really???". Your partner comes up with another answer. "Thank You" you say, "who are you really???". Your partner comes up with yet another answer ... and another ... and another ... and another ... for hours ... and hours ... and hours. Then you switch. Your partner asks "Who are you really???". You come up with an answer. "Thank You" your partner says, "who are you really???". You come up with another answer. "Thank You" your partner says, "who are you really???". You come up with yet another answer ... and another ... and another ... and another ... for hours ... and hours ... and hours.

That's the process: dwell in the question. It's more powerful discovering who we are really by dwelling in the question than it is by settling for pat answers. Pat answers reduce us. And in this essay, written as it is and not spoken, I run a real risk of reducing all answers to "Who are you really???", to pat answers.

So with that proviso in place, try this on for size: who we are really (not pat like "I'm Laurence", "I'm a Brit", "I'm a nice guy") is context, word, and un-ego.



1)  CONTEXT

Consider this: who we are really, is context. Context is the experiential space  (if you will) in which the events of our lives show up. What does that even mean: "the experiential space in which the events of our lives show up"? Who we are really, isn't what we do. It certainly isn't what we have. Who we are interimly is what's doing the doing  and what's having the having. And who we are ultimately is what's experiencing  the doing-the-doing, and what's also experiencing the having-the-having. Said another way, who we are really is where  the experience of doing the doing and having the having, shows up. That's context: the experiential space in which the doing-the-doing and the having-the-having (the events of our lives) show up. That's who we are really.
2)  WORD

Consider this: who we are really, is word. What happens almost automatically when we consider that who we are really is word, is we hear it as my  word - as in "giving my word", "breaking my word", "keeping my word", "honoring my word", etc all of which occur in the domain of this consideration but not congruent with it. Who we are really is ... just ... word. And it's "word" not as in what we speak about  but "word" as in that we speak at all. It's in this very real sense that who we are really is speaking-ness  (or "speakability" if you will). Be careful: "who we are really is word" isn't distinguishing that we have  a word (and we do) but that we are  word (there's no "our" in it: it's not "who we are really is our  word": it's "who we are really is word" - period).
3)  UN-EGO.

Consider this: who we are really, is un-ego. Not who we are really is not  ego. That's close. What's better is who we are really is un-ego. Let me explain.

We human beings don't merely consider that who we are really is our apparently separate, independent, and isolated ego (as Alan Watts may have said) ie "I" / "me". It's that we are  that who we are really is our ego ie "I" / "me". For us, it's an unexamined  given. It's a taken-for-granted global delusion. But who you mean when you experience yourself as ego ie who you mean when you say "I" / "me", is not you. It's just something that shows up for you.

<aside>

The truth is if I imposed even more rigor than I'm imposing now, I wouldn't be equating ego exactly with "I" / "me" at all.

Yet doing so here is good enough for jazz. It's even useful, revealing.

<un-aside>

Consider this: who we are really is not our ego, who we are really is not "I" / "me". Who we are really is un-ego ie who we are really is the context in which ego shows up ie who we are really is the experiential space (as we distinguished earlier) in which our ego (ie in which "I" / "me") shows up for us.



Thus "Context", "Word", and "Un-Ego" are three possible answers to the question "Who are we really???". But there are certainly many, many  more than three answers to this essential question. My three answers are just three of the answers I came up with by dwelling in the question. Dwell in the question yourself, and see which ones come up for you. Just be wary of being seduced (and reduced) by any pat answers (and we love  pat answers - oh boy! do we ever love pat answers ...). You'll know you've come up with pat answers this way: if you share them, people will get an understanding  of who we are really. But on the other hand, if you come up with answers by dwelling in the question and you share them, people will have an experience  of who we are really.


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