Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More

Little Son Of A Bitch

Summers Estate, Calistoga, California, USA

April 15, 2008

"You've got to give up being a little son of a bitch." ... Harry Margolis

I am indebted to Harry Margolis who inspired this conversation, and to Palmer Kelly and to Victoria Hamilton-Rivers who contributed material.

Transformation calls.

Once you heed the call, there's no going back. Whether it's unexpected or expected, there's no mistaking your first experience of yourself, of your true nature ie of Self. First you're aghast, then you're exuberant.

There are pitfalls. The pitfalls in living life transformed are human. Naturally. For example, we celebrate transformation even as we inexorably, steadily forget its source. You source transformation. You source transformation with your word. Then transformation appears to fade. Why?

Transformation continues, at least for a while, even after you've forgotten you're source because transformation has velocity and momentum. You throw a stone. After your throw completes, the stone has velocity and momentum. It flies on its trajectory. Now we're thinking "Stones fly!". We've forgotten our throws which provided stones momentum to fly.

Eventually when their velocity and momentum fades, stones drop from the sky. And if we forget our throws which launched them in the first place, we're left with the idea that something awesome - stones flying - ran out, ended, wore out. We say "It was great while it lasted, and then it ended.".

But in a delicious insight into the way things work, we figure out stones can fly. Indeed, we figure out stones can fly again. We figure it out at about the same time stones flying calls us to provide throwing.

So it is when we live life transformed. Transformation expands everyone's sense of what's possible. It brings a new, natural accelerated pace, a velocity and a momentum to Life itself. If that momentum slows, it's the indication it's time to generate it again. It doesn't generate itself, just like stones don't throw themselves. That's your job.

Along with the pitfall of forgetting you're source in living life transformed, another pitfall in living life transformed is trying to hold on to being nice while living life transformed. It's OK to be nice. It's nice to be nice. But the work of transformation is oftentimes not nice. The work of transformation is oftentimes intrusive and very down. In living life transformed, don't put a lot of stock in being nice. The reason for this is twofold:

Firstly, the full power of transformation is unleashed by (and unleashes) words and deeds which, given the past, may appear to be out of character. That's not a bad thing. It's not a good thing either. But for some, being out of character, being inconsistent with the past, is construed as being not nice. Secondly, transformation breaks new ground. It's OK to be nice. It's nice to be nice. And the thing about being nice is it keeps things exactly where they always were. Being nice is an already fixed way of being. Living live transformed doesn't require being not nice. But it doesn't require being nice either. To make an omelet you may have to break a few eggs.

Werner Erhard

Werner's sharing. I'm listening him recreating Harry Margolis coaching him. Harry works closely with Werner founding est. It requires a certain kind of organization, a certain kind of organization of people working together as Self to bring est into the world. It also requires a certain kind of financial organization, a certain kind of organization of financial people working together as Self to bring est into the world.

Harry Margolis is brilliant in this mode. He's so brilliant in this mode, he's so ahead of the game in this mode, he's so ahead of his time in this mode that oftentimes people aren't sure anymore whether or not his maverick, brilliant, breakthrough financial ideas still remain within the law. He's challenged and confronted and reviewed. And no matter what's interrogated with regard to his financial practices, themes, and ideas, Harry checks out perfectly every time. Though his financial integrity's questioned and tested many times, it's never found to be lacking - ever.

Harry's coaching Werner. He's saying to Werner "You've got to give up being a little son of a bitch.".

The way he emphasizes the word little surprises me. It's not where I expect the emphasis to be. Hmmm ...

Suddenly, I'm sitting bolt upright, wide awake, amazed. In one of those deep, profound moments of pure insight, I realize he's not saying "You've got to give up being a son of a bitch.". No, it's not that. What Harry's saying is "You've got to give up being little - you've got to give up being a little son of a bitch.".

That's amazing. That's truly amazing. That one came in straight out of left field - totally unexpected. The implications of being "a BIG son of a bitch" hit me. They start to slowly filter in and percolate with my sense of who I really am, and with whom I hold myself back from becoming.

Harry's coaching Werner masterfully and simply handles one of the biggest pitfalls of living life transformed. Harry's coaching Werner to give up being nice.

In living life transformed, there are measures of authenticity. Being nice may or may not be one of them. It's only a little son of a bitch who holds himself back.

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