I am indebted to Jon Toellner who inspired this conversation.
People will do almost anything to get
Sit in a cave and
endlessly. Renounce the world. Renounce worldly possessions.
Give up husbands. Give up wives. Give up families and take
vows of celibacy. Deaden the experience of Life as it is
with alcohol. Alter the experience of Life as it is with drugs and mood
changing chemicals. Chant. Pray. Undergo therapy. Theorize.
Intellectualize. Then - when all else fails - try to understand.
We look for
everywhere except right here and right now. We're thrown
to not get Life exactly the way it is
and exactly the way it isn't. We want so much for Life to
be not like it is. And we want it to mean
something, that it's like it is. Man! Do we want it to
mean something ... We're intent on finding an
explanation - as if explaining Life will make
a difference. We're convinced there's a reason for all
this. Most of all we want
a way out
of the predicament we perceive ourselves to be in. We
rationalize this isn't
by looking forward to the life hereafter. We're convinced the life
hereafter will be better than this one. We're
certain the life hereafter is when we'll get
Having convinced ourselves this isn't
we seldom say (we don't bother to say, really) exactly
about this life without the obligatory complaint and
disgruntlement. It's more than that, actually. It's we regard complaint
and disgruntlement aswhat's so.
They're not. They're what gets in the way of
We're trapped in a glorious irony. We complain and we're disgruntled
because we don't get
Yet it's complaint and disgruntlement which get in the way of saying
And saying exactly
with nothing in the way is a powerful access to
See the trap we're in?
When you say exactly
right here and right now, you say your experience - straight, pure, and
simple without complaint, without disgruntlement. Interestingly enough,
saying your experience right here and right now - straight, pure, and
simple without complaint, without disgruntlement is almost always
repressed. It's almost always hidden. It's almost always avoided
because it's too
And we hate standing
I mean this quite literally. We go to great lengths to
protect and prevent our
bodies from being seen. We've become so
good at covering our asses. We've become so good at coming up with all
sorts of justifications for not baring our
for not being our experience. We yearn for
We'll do almost anything to get it. And yet we unwittingly keep
at bay simply because we've become so
good at covering our asses.
Handling whatever's there for you to handle
(embarrassment, wanting to hide, wanting to cover up etc)
when you stand
in front of people is more
on the money
of what it takes to transform your life than anything else.
No need to sit in a cave and topitate. No need to renounce the world
and worldly possessions. No need to terminate relationships and go
it alone. No need to be celibate. Neither alcohol nor drugs nor
mood changing chemicals are required. Chant, pray, and be in therapy if
you like. Take time to theorize, to intellectualize, and to try to
understand. If all that fails to generate
there's always the next life to look forward to. Yet irrespective of
the degree of
there's no guarantee you'll get
in the next life either.
But if you just take on getting in touch with and
being with and saying your experience of
what comes up
when you stand
in front of people, whatever that is, wherever it comes
from, it's a very powerful access to transforming this
life right here and right now.