... Henrik Ibsen embodying the Boyg speaking to Peer (Peer Gynt)
recreating Dante Alighieri embodying the poet Virgil speaking to
Dante (Divine Comedy part I, Dante's Inferno)
I am indebted to Mike McConnell who inspired this conversation.
When I first discovered it, when I first got the full implication of it
in Werner's Be Here Now seminar, it was so
not instinctive, it was so counterintuitive
to everything I knew and had learned that I really had no way to hold
it - that is (said with
rigor)
I had no
context
for it. Then once I'd tried it on for size, once I'd tested it over
time in different situations and circumstances and experienced its
awesome power, I noticed I have a tendency (it's a real
danger in fact) to make a rule out of it, to
apply it always in all situations and in all
circumstances.
Now I can tell it was never intended as a blanket panacea
for anything and everything which I don't like in my life. Rather it's
a shrewd approach grounded in
Zen
which when deployed in an appropriate situation works so dramatically
it leaves me with a chagrined "Why didn't I think of doing this
before?" or with the more pointed "Laurence what took you so
long?". At best it's an appropriate tool in my
toolbox
which fits well with certain jobs. I've learned it's best not to use a
hammer to loosen bolts. I've learned it's best not to use a sander to
tighten a screw. Similarly, this tool works when it's the
appropriate tool for the job. And when it works, it works unlike
any other tool I own.
I'm speaking about the possibility of experiencing an
experience I'd rather not be having, instead of trying to
change it, instead of avoiding it, instead of denying it, instead of
resisting
it, instead of pretending it isn't happening. All of the above are my
typical knee jerk responses to experiences I'd rather not
be having, like
being frustrated
being let down
being made wrong
being sad
being stopped
being thwarted
etc etc etc
In the seminar when the conversation turned to what could be done with
such an experience, I started trying on "Don't do anything
with it!". I started trying on "Don't try to change it.". I started
trying on "Don't avoid it.". I started trying on "Don't deny it.". I
started trying on "Don't
resist
it.". I started trying on "Go through it!" -
"it" being whatever I'd rather not be experiencing. I
started trying on surrendering to it. Deliberately.
Intentionally.
Coached by the seminar leader I get "Go through it!" isn't a rule. And
Man! Something about me wants to churn all great insights
into rules thereby both ruining the insights and disempowering the
rules in one fell swoop. Rather, it's something to try on like a
possibility, something to try on as one of many
possible ways of responding to having an experience I'd rather not be
having. It's so simple. With hindsight "Go through it!" is so
stoopid
simple. But bear in mind, hindsight is always 20/20 vision, so
with hindsight everything is
stoopid
simple.
Rather than trying to change my experience I started trying on
experiencing it. The results are dramatic. Rather than
trying to change, avoiding, denying, or
resisting
an experience you'd rather not be having (the natural tendency), try on
experiencing it, try on going through it. If there's a way
out it isn't by trying to change, avoiding, denying, or
resisting
it. It's by going through it. The only way out, it turns out,
is through. And if that sounds like too strong a rule, then try
on "A way out (as in one of many options) is through.".
But either way, whether it's "A way out is through" or whether it's
"The only way out is through", both are counterintuitive. I recommend
you try each one on like a possibility, then evaluate its effectiveness
as a tool. I promise dramatic results.
An experience I try to change, avoid, deny, or
resistpersists. An experience I experience disappears (as
Werner Erhard may have
said).
An experience I'd rather not be having disappears sooner
if I experience it (that's hard, given I'd rather not be
having it at all) than if I try to change it. Sometimes it goes against
everything I know to not try to change what I'd rather not
be experiencing - I want to change it, to get it over with fast.
But
what's so
is if I go through it, experiencing it, letting it be and not trying to
change anything about it, it disappears sooner. Much much
sooner.