Then he says "That's some good light you've got coming
out of your
Lar" ("Lar" is his term of endearment for me, from the Roman
of the house).
I make a mental note to source an essay from it sometime.
That time is now.
It's not just her words that grab my attention, as decisive as words
always are (who we are after all, is our language, or at least who we
are, realized or not, is known in
through our speaking). And it's not just what she speaks about ie
it's not just what she languages, as revealing as that always is
about who we're being. What it is, is the look she has on her
that look! She has a certain look on her
which is the kind of look no one can fake or pretend. It's the kind of
will never be seen with. It's the look of being. It's the look which
gives being as clear a vantage point (and makes it as easily
discernible) as the nose on your
It's unmistakably visible ... unmistakably visible, that is if you
recognize what it is you're looking at and seeing.
And what it is about this look of hers, is that she's got some good
light coming out of her
That's the best way I can describe it for you: she's got some good
light coming out of her
(quote unquote). Look: colloquially, you're not likely to hear many
people say that - or even anything like it. Never mind. It works.
I say to her "That's some good light you've got coming out of your
Girl!". She smiles in recognition. Yet it's a surprised recognition
which tells me that light or no light, it's not what she's focused on.
It's not something she aspires to emit or sets out to highlight with
cosmetics and make-up. No, it's simply there ie it simply
shows, given who (and how) she's being. And I realize that what it is,
is a rare emanation coming from total authenticity. It's what it looks
like when someone is being bone-numbingly authentic. She speaks what
she speaks (whatever that may be) and it says who she's being. And this
good light coming out of her
complements it. Actually it's more than just complements it: it's that
the good light is collateral proof of her authenticity ie it's its
evidence. But it isn't the main point to (nor the focus of) her
presentation. It's just that this is the look she gets on her face when she be's this way.
It's the look that goes with the territory of being
Explaining it (even attempting to) will just ruin it. So it's really
only my "maybe" ie it's only my assumption that this kind of light is a
predictable characteristic born of authentic being. It's only my guess.
Perhaps it's characteristic of someone who's comfortable with being,
and with being who they are. Perhaps it's characteristic of someone
who's so comfortable with being and so comfortable with being who they
are, that it's sometimes said of them that they're totally comfortable
in their own skin. Maybe it's true. But with all that being
said, I'm really not so sure. There's a very real possibility that who
we really are is out-here not in here (if you
will) at all. So the very notion of being comfortable "in one's own
skin" is up for grabs at best. In this context however, I'm OK with
deploying it ie it's good enough for jazz.
When I see a person like her emitting this kind of light (and it's not
all that often that I see it) I can tell the light coming out of their
isn't the light of
How so? How do I know? How can anyone tell? By discovering this
phenomenon for yourself. If I stand by ... my ... Self ...
looking in a
I can differentiate between light coming from being, and light coming
ie from my arrogance. Hers isn't the light of
the light of arrogance. With her, it's the light of being. And with
that, it's also a light of radiant health, a light of being present, a
light of being accessible, a light of being vulnerable, a light of
loving, lovable, and
I don't see light coming out of people's
daily. But I see it coming out of hers. When I do, even without a lot
of prior exposure to and experience in recognizing it, I know
exactly what it is I'm seeing. I know what it is I'm
seeing because my own light of being, recognizes itself in another ie
in her. That's how I know it. And there's nothing to do with it or
about it except to notice it, and possibly acknowledge to the person
that you notice it, and to enjoy
with them and it.