Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More

You Will Never Have To Be That Way Again

Portland, Oregon, USA

December 10, 2019


"The moment when you really experience that you have created yourself being whatever way you are, at that same moment you will never have to be that way again."
... 
This essay, You Will Never Have To Be That Way Again, is the companion piece to On Feeling Good About Feeling Bad: Manifesto III.

It is also the first in a trilogy written in Portland Oregon, December 2019:
  1. You Will Never Have To Be That Way Again
  2. On Being With The Automaticity
  3. On Reaching The End
in that order.

It is also the prequel to On Not Being That Way Again.

The trilogy written in Portland Oregon, December 2019 is the prequel to Breakthrough In Family.


The debate about which of Werner's distinctions (considering the rich body of distinctions that comprise the work of transformation) is the  critical distinction, is ongoing - decades later. Some would say the essential  distinction of the work of transformation, is the distinction (in the sense of having discovered the difference) between mind and Self, a distinction toward which the venerable Alan Watts originally pointed Werner (thank you Alan). I would bet good money that it certainly could be the  critical one, on the shoulders of which all the other distinctions stand. And even if it isn't the  one, then it's surely one of the top three most important token-in-the-turnstile  distinctions required to access the world of transformation.

There's another distinction I'd like to inscribe in the critical list. It's this one: that the way you are, isn't who  you are - rather, any way you are, is just a way of being. A simple example makes this clear: "I am unlovable.". No you're not! That's just a way of being. Another example: "I am shy.". No you're not! That's just a way of being. There's no "unlovable" gene. There's no "shy" gene. Being unlovable and shy aren't written in the DNA  (DeoxyriboNucleic Acid) code. Both are just ways of being - to be specific, both are just ways of being you created.

Don't get ahead of me. I'm not about to propose that being unlovable and shy can be uncreated. In fact they can  be uncreated. But really: uncreating them, as useful as it sounds, imposes way too much work which is actually unnecessary - and arguably even distracts from the opportunity at hand. Rather, what I'm proposing is this: as a way of being (rather than as who you are), you simply don't have to be that way anymore. Not being that way anymore, is of a different order of things than uncreating being that way. And the access to not being that way anymore is discovering for yourself that you created being unlovable and shy in the first place. The moment you discover you created being that way, is the moment you don't have to be that way anymore. In other words, the antithesis ie the undoing  of being unlovable and shy, isn't uncreating being unlovable and shy: it's not being that way anymore.
Werner has said this about that:


<quote>

THE MOMENT WHEN YOU REALLY EXPERIENCE THAT YOU HAVE CREATED YOURSELF BEING WHATEVER WAY YOU ARE, AT THAT SAME MOMENT YOU WILL NEVER HAVE TO BE THAT WAY AGAIN.

<unquote>


In this regard, never having to be that way again  is far simpler, far more pragmatic, and even less-time-consuming than uncreating being that way. The difference is both subtle and profound. I vividly recall the exact moment I created myself as unlovable. It wasn't who I am. But I (erroneously) created it as who I am. I vividly recall the exact moment I created myself as shy. It wasn't who I am either. But I (erroneously) created it as who I am. They were two such ways of being I created that weren't who I am. And looking at life through the lens of being unlovable and shy, produced its own set of issues, given that who I am is neither unlovable nor shy. Oh man! There must have been scores  of other ways of being I created which weren't who I am, each with their own associated set of distorting lenses.

My thesis then, is not predicated on or around managing or handling or resolving being unlovable and shy, nor analyzing or even explaining  being that way. Rather it pivots on simply noticing that being unlovable and shy, are created ways of being, and not who I am. Uncreating, managing, handling, resolving, analyzing them and explaining being that way, aren't required. Once I get they're created ways of being and not who I am, that's the same moment I don't have to be that way anymore.


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