I am indebted to
Jack Rafferty
who inspired this conversation.
I don't
write
these essays simply because they do a lot of good. And I know these
essays do a lot of good. I know they bring out what's good in people -
indeed, I know they bring out what's good for people. I
know this because of two things. I know it firstly because of my own
direct experience
of your
transformed
conversations.
When I experienced them for the first time (which is to say when I
encountered your kind of conversations for the first time which
inspired me to
write
these essays), I knew (I just knew) they would do a lot of
good. And I know it secondly because of what people say / tell me about
these essays. They say / they tell me they do a lot of good. So that's
how I know: I know because of my own
direct experienceof my own
direct
experience
of them, and because of what you say. Interimly it's what I
experience directly
which informs me. Ultimately, it's what you say about them.
But be that as it may (and I have no cause to doubt it), that's not
why I do it.
I don't do it because it does any good. Honest! That's not why I
write
them in the first place. For me it's more
Zen
than that. It's not: I do it because it does any good. It's: I do it
because I do it. That's what keeps me
straight.
And if you assumed I just said "I do it because it keeps
me
straight",
re-read it carefully: that's not what I said. I said I do it because I
do it, and that (doing it because I do it) keeps me
straight.
There's no "in-order-to" in the latter. There's no "in-order-to" in
this at all (you do have to be ready for
Zen
to get that).
Look (and I really do want you to get this): if I didn't
do it, it would do any good - or not. If I did do it, it
would do any good - or not. There's a pernicious presumption, a
presumptuousness that has it that if I
write
these conversations for transformation, it will do a lot of good. But
look (and seriously, now): it doesn't
rain
so that all those precious little seeds in
the earth
will moisten and bloom and blossom (aaahhh ... but that's so
sweet ...). No,
it rainsbecause
it rains.
And if you have it that
it rains
so that all those precious little seeds in
the earth
will moisten and bloom and blossom, then you're committing what may
arguably be the only real
cardinal sin
in
life:
you're adding
significance.
And the very first thing to do with added
significance
is notice you're adding it.
As I look deeper into this distinction ("I do it because it does any
good" different than "I do it because I do it"), I notice there's a
profound satisfaction in it.
Writing
these essays (and these essays themselves) is the thing in
itself ie it's Immanuel Kant's "das ding an
sich" (German). These essays as the thing in itself, don't
require agreement or approval. They just are. They don't even
require that anyone read them for them to have value,
agreement, or approval. That's the extraordinariness of
Zen
ie it's the uniqueness of taking action grounded in
Zen.
"Doing it in order to do it" different than "doing it
because ..." is profoundly freeing / deeply liberating.
When people say these essays do a lot of good, it could be that they're
noticing the former while assuming the latter.
Jus' sayin' ...
Now if you're staying with me on this, you'll notice this entire
conversation veers off into the
futility
of so-called
"Self-help"
and other concepts like "saving
the world".
It's perfect the way it is. That doesn't mean you have to like it, or
that it's always good, or that it's right. It's perfect. Please stop
lying about it.