Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More


Life Partners

Cowboy Cottage, East Napa, California, USA

March 26, 2012



"Know the truth, and the truth will set you free." ... Jesus Christ quoted by John the apostle

"The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off." ... Gloria Steinem
This essay, Life Partners, is the companion piece to Mystical Connection.

It is the sequel to Cheese To A Rat.

I am indebted to Clare Erhard-Trick who inspired this conversation.




One of the highlights of my life is being with people I'm close to. When we meet, invariably the question is why we don't meet more often. I'll make light of the matter by saying something like "I haven't yet figured out how to be in more than one location at the same time.".

It's the lot of each of us human beings to be located in one place on the planet at any particular moment in time. And the place on the planet where we're located isn't always congruent with the places on the planet where the people we're close to, are located.

It appears (on the surface, at least) we're all physically separate, and if we're to be in relationship, we need to be near each other ie we need to be in close proximity to each other, we need to be in the same location as each other. Yet if I examine my relationship with each of the people I'm close to, I notice proximity isn't a requirement. Where I'm close to them isn't in a particular location we both happen to be in at the same time. Where I'm close to them is in the space of my being. The space of my being where the mere fact we're alive and in the world at the same time, is the source of relationship, love, friendship, affinity, intimacy, respect, and partnership.

The list of people I'm close to this way is actually quite considerable. There're my children and my family. There's my extended family. There are my friends. There are my colleagues. There are my work associates. There are my coaches and my mentors. There's my source. This list actually has the possibility of expanding to and including my neighbors, my community, society, and the population of Planet Earth as whole.

What I'm starting to notice is it doesn't work to wait until I'm in the same physical location as each of them, for relationsip and love, friendship and affinity, intimacy and respect, and partnership to be fulfilled. It's actually worse than that. It's that sometimes (in many cases) the likelihood of me being in the same physical location as them at the same time, is remote - to say the least. There's got to be a better way of managing this.

And the truth is there is. There's an awful lot of struggle and effort, a great deal of sturm und drang  (German: storm and stress), a huge outpouring of snot en trane  (Afrikaans: snot and tears) which is expended on relationships defined by position, which is lavished on relationships bound by proximity. That's because insisting on only  being in relationship this way actually misses the point of who we really are. No, it entirely  misses the point of what it is to be related.

Expanding my Self  to include both those in my proximity and those not in my proximity, allows all my relationships to continue without being bound by, without being limited to being in the same physical location at the same time. It creates the possibility of being in relationship across miles and miles without any contact, sometimes even without any ongoing communication. It's creates the possibility of a mystical connection, if you will.

In other words, instead of a relationship defined by position, a mystical connection ...   instead of a relationship bound by proximity, a mystical connection ...   instead of a relationship limited only to physical closeness, a mystical connection ...   instead of a relationship requiring ongoing communication (that is, communication in the ordinary  sense of the word), a mystical connection ...

Yes its description (the descriptor "mystical" in particular) does indeed carry some unnecessary and therefore distracting significance. Yet this description is an apt one. It speaks to a way of being in relationship which occurs outside of  the ordinary way we regard being in relationship. It speaks to the truth which sets me free from being attached to relationship as position. It speaks to the truth which sets me free from being attached to relationship as proximity.

The truth which sets me free from being attached to relationship as proximity is simply this: there's nothing to do  to be in relationship, there's nowhere to go  to be in relationship, there's nothing to get  to be in relationship because we're already related.

Gee! I hope you get that ...

The discovery, the clearing, the possibility  this inquiry leads me to is when I come from  "We're already related", it takes out all the struggle and effort, it takes out all the sturm und drang, it takes out all the snot en trane  from wanting to be in a relationship with you. You and I are already related. In fact, we're Life partners  - with the emphasis on "Life". The relationship we're already in, lasts for now and for all eternity.



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