In the world of transformation, it's often said (or perhaps it's not
said often enough, depending on your listening) you can't transform
your life until you've completed your relationship with your
parents
ie until you're complete with your
parents.
To be sure, you can transform aspects of your life,
critical aspects of your life without completing your
relationship with your
parents.
But until you've completed your relationship with your
parents,
you can't TRANSFORM your LIFE. It
can't be done. Not possible. You just can't do it.
Since transformation is, after all, a conversation, it's easier to
complete a relationship with anyone while you're both alive, face to
face, here, together. But they and you alive, face to face, here,
together and in a conversation for the possibility of being complete in
relationship is really just a matter of pragmatism ie of
simplifying things - it's not a requirement. You can create
completion with anyone, dead or alive, remotely or face to face,
there or here, apart or together. Completion isn't a matter of
bringing your own bottle to
their party. Completion is a matter of bringing
everything to their party.
You can create completion with your
parents
even if you don't know who they are. If that's the relationship you
have with your
parents
ie if the relationship you have with your
parents
is you don't know who your
parents
are, that's what there is to be complete about. Not knowing who
your
parents
are is one form of relationship to have with your
parents.
Somewhere between not knowing who your
parents
are, and having
parents
who actively participate in your life, is your particular point on the
continuum of what the possibility is for relationship with
parents.
There's no exception, not one, in the entire history of the human race:
everyone human being has two
parents
- a father and a mother. Only some of us areparents.
But each of us have
parents.
- a father and a mother. There's no exception. And there aren't too
many things, when it comes to human beings, about which it can be said
there's no exception.
It's often assumed men have further to go to complete with
their mothers, and women have further to go to
complete with
their
fathers
(as Sigmund Freud may have said). This is a tenuous assumption. It's
not powerful. What's closer to the truth is this: those men
and women who initiate a conversation for the possibility
of being complete with their
parents,
don't have as far to go to complete with their
parents
as men and women who don't initiate a conversation for the possibility
of being complete with their
parents.
Being complete with your
parents
is being OK with them the way they are, however it is they are,
and being OK with them the way they aren't, however it is they
aren't. If you're not OK with your
parents
the way they are and they way they aren't, you can't be complete with
them. The degree to which you're incomplete with your
parents
is the degree to which your life can't ever be 100% totally
transformed.