When I awake at daybreak, I notice you and I are already in the middle
of a
conversation
about the battle between good and evil. In my own life, I've
noticed that battle's been going on for a
long time,
arguably for as long as I can remember. And I'm pretty sure it's been
going on for longer than that even. It's not a battle I asked for.
It's not something I initiated. Based on what I've read, it's been
going on for as long as history's been recorded. It's just
there, it's always just there, going on all by
itself in an amphitheatre as old as time itself. But I've got a feeling
it's even been going on for much longer than that. In all likelihood
it's been going on for all eternity.
It's always been a long, strange, incorrigible battle. Our side is
good. Your side is evil. Yet that's just what we say.
You say your side is good and our side is evil. And both
of us say
God's
on our side. Whether I'm in it or whether I'm
observing
it, it's patently clear how powerful it is, how pervasive it is,
how destructive it is, and how it just plain doesn't
work.
But that's Life. Or is it? Do I have no choice but to be in it
because it overpowers me, sweeps me in, overwhelms me and demands I
react? ... or what? There's no respite, all through the
night, all through all nights.
But now it's dawn. I'm wide
awake
sitting bolt upright
listening
you. I'm
listeningeverything you say, and through it all I keep on hearing
who you are.
When I hear you, something buried deep in me is activated. I'm reminded
of what's possible. With that, I become reticent to continue
living by the distinction good as opposed to the
distinction evil. They're both conceptual. They're both
merely
interpretations.
They're useful, to a certain degree, for creating a
context
for living, for
creating
a certain moral framework at least. Yet moral frameworks
bring in another set of distinctions: the distinction
right as opposed to the distinction wrong, both of
which are also conceptual, both of which are also merely
interpretations.
Now, I'm not against distinguishing good from evil and right from wrong
any more than I'm against distinguishing green traffic lights from red.
In order to get along in society, in order to get along in the world,
it's essential we're able to make and respect such
distinctions. We label people who don't as sociopathic, even as
psychopathic. Sometimes we incarcerate them, such is our
intolerance, such is our abhorrence of people who are unable to make
and respect such distinctions.
The trouble, however, with living from the "good / evil", "right /
wrong" set of distinctions as if they're absolute and not
simply concepts and
interpretations
is twofold. Firstly, good defines evil just as right
defines wrong. This dragon of
paradox
is inherent in all forms of righteousness.
Interpretinggood calls forth and brings evil into being.
Interpretingright calls forth and brings wrong into
being. The back of the hand begets the palm. Heads begets
tails. Secondly, living from concepts and
interpretations
relegates the
miracle
of
who we really are
to the background. There's
nothing wrong
with that. It simply makes
who we really are
harder to locate. And when we can't locate
who we really are,
we do battle for things we aren't. It's very pernicious.
As you and I
speak,
I reinvent an old distinction. It's a distinction that lives in
experience rather than in concepts, rather than in
interpretations.
It's a very, very ancient distinction. It's been around as long as
human being's been around. In all likelihood it's been around longer
than that - I just don't know whom to ask for verification of whether
it has or hasn't been around longer than that. It's the distinction
true
Self
as opposed to the distinction identity. It's
who we really are
as opposed to who we think we are ie that with which we
identify. True
Self
doesn't negate concepts and
interpretations
any more than identity causes them. True
Self
does, however, provide the
context
in which I can
observe
I've falsely identified with my concepts and with my
interpretations.
That's its value. That's what comes forth in our
conversation.
But wait! Something else comes forth in our
conversation.
There's something else here, and it's a privilege to be
with it. It's something greater than I. It doesn't require a
gold record
to be acknowledged. It doesn't need an
academy
award
to say it's appreciated. It doesn't require a nomination to the
hall of fame
to
authenticate
it. It's that which becomes possible when you and I are in
relationship. It's a privilege afforded by Life Itself. And all
that's required to have it is to declare it, to
distinguish it.
As the sun rises ever higher in the sky, the battle still rages.
Despite it, I walk on, not
resisting,
not defending, not drawn in, inventing being this way as a potent new
possibility for living the rest of my life with you.