I was having coffee with a friend of mine who just ended a ten year
relationship. She listed all her reasons for ending it. She had
them all worked out and explained - except none of that did her any
good. She was still stuck, blaming her ex, feeling angry and
betrayed, "thinking about it all the time" she told me. I said to
her "Don't go there. Look: that's just your automatic internal
dialog. And there's always something going on
internally. Always. And it's not who you are. Trying to end
what's going on internally, is as futile as playing
Whack-A-Mole: BAM! Down and out of sight one goes ...
only to pop up uncowering somewhere else later.".
Another friend of mine shared since his children had grown up and
gone their own ways, he "felt pointless and depressed". I said
"Don't go there. That's just your automatic internal dialog.
There's always something going on internally.
Always.". It doesn't take much for people to confirm that (as
as it sounds) our internal dialog is on full-automatic and doesn't
respond to our futile attempts to take charge of it permanently. It
doesn't take much to experience, once the futility of trying to
take charge of it is realized, that who we really are
(this critical insight is available to anyone who is willing to try
on this distinction and discover it for themselves).
I speak with shared that it seemed like he was making progress
the mind" (he's a
only to discover the next day the chatter had sprung back with a
vengeance like an errant rubber band. I said "There's always
something going on internally. Always.". He looked for a moment,
for another moment, then said "Oh Wow!", a beyond-beautiful
smile breaking out all over his face. "It's pretty awesome
isn't it?" I said. "Oh Wow!" he repeated,