For the most part, the way we are ... for ... our
selves ... is a
superstition.
Be careful now. It's not useful, in fact it will obfuscate
it's value, if you consider this like it's "the truth".
Rather, it's something to try on for size. It's a
point of view
from which to look at the way we are. Let me expand.
When I say "This ... is just the way I am!", it's a
superstition.
When I say "This ... is just the way I am!" is a
superstition,
it isn't a
superstition.
If this evokes perplexity (and it almost assuredly will -
maddeningly so), wear it ike a badge of honor. It's the same perplexity
which precedes the
breakthrough
when you interact with / wrestle with / come to grips with
a
Zen koan
like the similar "What is when it isn't, and isn't when it is?" which
in thiscontext
is even more appropriate than the brilliant and perfectly minimalistic
"What is the sound of one hand clapping?".
Take on being responsible for making the following distinction: if we
say "A black cat crossing my path is bad luck", it's a
superstition;
if we say "A black cat crossing my path is bad luck" is a
superstition,
it isn't a
superstition.
Sit with it in your lap like a hot
brick.
Black cats crossing our paths bringing bad luck have one thing in
common with the way we are for ourselves: I assert they're
bothsuperstitions.
If we say "I'm shy", we usually say it as if being shy is a
given, as if it's somehow coded in our DNA, as if being
shy is a quality we're born with - like an arm or like a leg. If we say
"I'm not a social person", we say it as if not being
social is a fixed way of being, as if it's an
unchangeable quality we're endowed with, which we'll have
for Life. If we say "I'm easily
upset",
we say it as if
being easily upset
is a permanent, solid characteristic which we'll have
forever. It's more than that actually. When we say "I'm shy", we
say it as if being shy is an implicit component of
who we really are.
When we say "I'm not a social person", we say it as if not being social
is an implicit component of
who we really are.
When we say "I'm easily
upset",
we say it as if
being upset
is an implicit component of
who we really are.
But that's simply not true. If I am indeed some or all of the above,
then I'm shy or I'm not social or I'm easily
upsetonly becauseIsayso. That's both
subtle and profound. It's also very easy to overlook. On
the one hand, when I say "I'm shy", at first glance it appears I'm
reporting on a kind of immutable, incontrovertible
reality that I'm shy. In fact, when I say "I'm shy", it's
by saying "I'm shy" that I generate who I'm being as shy.
There's no such thing as "I'm shy" like a solid, concrete reality, like
an implicit component of
who I really am.
There's only me speaking "I'm
shy" which
constitutes
me as shy. In other words, if you dissect me with a
scalpel,
you won't find "shy" - being shy is a purely
linguistic act.
The way we are isn't fixed. It's malleable. It's
transform-able.
Who I'm being at any particular moment is a function of who I
generate myself to be in
language,
rather than a function of some implicit given in my DNA
over which I have no power, no choice, and no sway. That's why I'm not
invested in belief systems which label me as a certain fixed
type, and then define me to be an identifiable,
predictable way based on, for example, a one time assessment
of where
the planets
happened to be located in the universe on the day I was born, or
(worse) on the color category personality type I'm
arbitrarily assigned to.
The quarrel I have with those belief systems (and others like them) is
they allow no possibility for moment to moment creativity,
no
clearing
for coming up with something completely discontiguous and
new throughout the course of my life, no chance of inventing a new
possibility for my future which, until then, simply wasn't going to
happen. But what's even more important to notice here is there's no
possibility of responsibility in them either. After all,
if I'm being a certain way because I'm a Gemini or because
I'm a blue personality type or whatever, then I'm
not responsible for how my life turns out. Rather, how my life turns
out is determined by my sign or by my personality type color or by my
background or by my past or by my circumstances or by my
karma or by my ... (fill in the blank) ... In other
words, how my life turns out is determined by anything otherthan my own accountability.
If someone is
superstitious,
they believe a black cat crossing their path is bad luck. But if you
scoff at them and say "That's ridiculous! Everyone knows
it's just a
superstition",
ask yourself if you've ever said about the way you are "This ... is
just the way I am!". Because if you have, that's as
superstitious
- if not more so - as believing a black cat crossing your path brings
bad luck.
