Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More


What Got Me

Landmark Communication: Access To Power Course, Tehama Street, San Francisco, California, USA

January 19, 2006



This essay, What Got Me, is the second in an open group inspired by Landmark Programs: I am indebted to Evan Hough and to Josh LeGassick and to Jerome Downes and to Randy Loftin who inspired this conversation.



What got me was your crystal clear eyes, gentle lasers. What got me was the gravity of your intention. What got me was eating celery with you at 2:00am - crunch!  What got me was you kissed me back. What got me was a hint of your not smile flickering on your face. What got me was you dispassionately passing me a kleenex when I was emotional and crying. What got me was you calling me just as I was thinking of you.

What got me was that  first playful wave which allowed me to hang my virgin ten on it and then thanked me happily afterwards. What got me was running and running and running and running and collapsing and then running more. What got me was the past casting off like a hot air balloon. What got me was realizing my Dad was once a guy just like I am now who knew no more then than I now know. What got me was finding out about my choice in the matter of my life. What got me was discovering the only thing I have  to do is die. What got me was watching my daughter Alexandra being born with her eyes already wide open looking me straight in the face recognizing who I am. What got me was the irony of finding ecstasy after I gave up trying to be happy.

What got me was your invitation to come over and play. What got me was you allowing me to transform and be free with you. What got me was your sweet tasting nakedness. What got me was you - really you ... really. What got me was you got me.

What got me was the sound of one hand clapping. What got me was the divinely ironic futility of everything. What got me was the sudden obviousness of all of it. What got me was enlightenment under a plastic chandelier.

What got me was a future showing up in the future without a past. What got me was what's possible, what's really  possible, for human beings. What got me was being adored by my children. What got me was the idea of drinking a beer and watching a ball game on TV with Jesus. What got me was the homeless. What got me was fresh cut roses in winter. What got me was breaking through and realizing there's nobody out there.

What got me, what really got  me ... was ... nothing.




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