There are many aspects of
which people find attractive and
sometimes even irresistible, quantifying all of which would
require an enormous catalog, given everyone has their own particular
about what it makes available. There are also aspects of
which some people don't find attractive - at least, aspects they don't
find attractive initially.
For the most part, the first time I heard about
and the possibility of
it was ... well ... confronting. Being confronted was neither
for me. But after a while I noticed it wasn't confronting
in and of itself. Rather my overall undistinguished (habituated, I
to letting go of tired old ways of being (which never
anyway, which I often bemoaned, and yet which I somehow managed to hang
on to anyway) was confronting. I registered as soon as that became
obvious - and when I did, I wished I'd done so sooner.
One of the aspects of
which some people don't find attractive (or so they tell me) is it
in a large group, the format in which most of
is delivered. They tell me they're not "group" people. I
can relate to that. It was one of my earlier concerns as well ie it was
one of my earlier confronts - although later, after telling the truth
about it unflinchingly, I began exchanging the
"concern" for "hold out", given that's really what it was: when I
shared later about what got me
to want to register, I stopped saying my "concerns" about
in a large group, were addressed (and they were), and instead started
saying I stopped "holding out". The former expression was covert. The
latter is accurate.
look, the stop to
in a large group, broke up for me in two ways when I began to explore
it. The first is that we (that's me along with y'all) are each members
of the population of
an undeniably large group, yes? I began to sense a certain
in myself (although I wasn't yet facile with the
back then) for
in large groups just because they're large groups. The second
came in an epiphany: I noticed the only
I owned for examining my own thoughts, were my own thoughts.
I saw examining my own thoughts with my own thoughts was a
perpetually (and steadily bankrupting) downwardly progressing cycle, a
if you will. If my "spiritual journey" (which is what I called it at
the time, adding all due and appropriate heavy
significance to it ie which is the way I
conceptualized it at the time) was ever going to be
it would require becoming open to other people's inquiries also, and
openly about them with them
face to face.
It became very clear to me my congested thoughts needed fresh air. They
needed to be exposed to more than merely books. They needed to be
exposed to other people's input, contribution, coaching, and
- reading book knowledge, in other
started to pale into insignificance, next to being open to sharing in
other people's experience. That's when my concern / hold out for
in a large group, dropped away, opening me to the possibility of
I registered. I
- still somewhat skeptical, I might add (I was the smart aleck,
the "know it all"). But at its
conclusion, there was no doubt whatsoeverWerner
had brought home the centuries' elusive, effusive,
"who I really am"
"who we all really are")
as in the phrase
...", as easily and as effortlessly and as nonchalantly as if he'd just
returned from a leisurely stroll to the corner grocery store and
brought home a loaf of bread and a quart of milk.
That was nearly thirty seven years ago. From then on, everything I got,
I got from
being around Werner.
in many of his
to be sure - and for me, they each newly confirmed a facet of who he
is, comprising the razor's edge of the distinction "people's
experience" (distinct from "book knowledge").
It still is the way for me today. It's a way that
for me. I've tested it, challenged it, tugged at it,
to it, cheated on it, battled it in knock down, drag out yelling fits,
tried to disprove it, abandoned it,
it, picked it up again ... and it still
- no matter what I throw at it. And here's the thing: it's
through all the tomorrows and through all the
futureslike a thread of possibility woven into the fabric of
It ie the
didn't need to discover that. I did.