Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More

My Heart And You

Cowboy Cottage, East Napa, California, USA

May 19, 2016

"How do I love thee? Let me count the ways." ... Elizabeth Barrett Browning, Sonnet 43

This essay, My Heart And You, is the one thousand one hundred and fiftieth in this Conversations For Transformation internet series.

It is also the companion piece to Wherever I Am, Here You Are.

It is also is the twenty ninth in the complete group of Experiences Of A Friend (click here for the open group Experiences Of A Friend II):
  1. Stepping Back
  2. At Home As Self
  3. Empty Windows
  4. Futile Like A Freedom
  5. Shut Up And Do What You're Doing
  6. Werner As Intention
  7. Who He Is For Himself
  8. Source Quote
  9. Puzzle Solved, Mind Unraveled
  10. Eye To Eye
  11. Mystical Connection II
  12. Relentless
  13. Being Around Werner
  14. Being Always In Action
  15. Shaken Up And Teary
  16. On Being Sad
  17. The Complete Presentation
  18. Force Of Nature
  19. Everyone's In Love With Everyone
  20. I'm Old School
  21. Werner At The Speed Of Choice
  22. I Get Who You Are From What They Do
  23. The Significance - Not What Happened
  24. You Know I Love You - And I Know You Love Me
  25. Speaking To People's Relationship With Werner
  26. A Master At Being (And Having People Be)
  27. Werner As Source
  28. A Man Who's All There
  29. My Heart And You
  30. Mind Control
  31. Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again
  32. Unwavering
  33. The Leadership Course III: Pillar Of The Community
  34. American Genius
  35. Legacy II
so far, in that order.

It is also the sixteenth in a group of eighteen on Love: I am indebted to Elizabeth Barrett Browning who inspired this conversation.

I'm upping my game. The ante into this upped game is a question. The question is "Why do I love you?".

Yes it's a "why" question. And yes it does harken to Elizabeth Barrett Browning's forty third sonnet's lyrical "How  do I love thee? Let me count the ways ..." even though that's a "how" question. Let's set both these observations aside for a moment. And let's also set aside (also for a moment) the Zen answer to "Why do I love you?" which is "I love you because I love you"  (notice the Zen answer decisively and powerfully interrupts the elephants all the way down  pitfall inherent in all "why" questions).

OK, they're set aside. So now, with both of them set aside, it's time to ante up. Why do I love you? Indeed, why do we  love you?

I love you / we love you, I say, because you turn the model of what it takes to be alright, on its ear. In just about everything we do, practice, believe etc in order to be alright, a background certainty (which is to say an unexamined  background certainty) is if we do this, practice this, believe this (ie whatever this  is) long enough, we'll gradually become  alright and eventually we'll be  alright. And even if we don't eventually become completely  alright, then at least we'll gradually get a little better  in the process, yes? (another unexamined background certainty is it's worth staying in this process even if it proves futile, because it's somehow good  for us).

But you've relentlessly extracted the myth from all that. What you bring with you and put on the table at life's pot-luck party is our already  alright-ness (if you will). There's no becoming  alright around you. There's certainly no getting better around you. In your space it's all already alright - and in it, I'm already alright / we're  already alright. If I tell the truth about it, all those precious, noble doings, practices, beliefs etc ie all those endeavors which comprised major chapters of my life before I discovered myself in this conversation with you, as valuable as they were to me, as interesting as they were to me, as fascinating  as they were to me, never made me any more alright than I already was. That's the bottom line. Some of them may even have gotten in my way of experiencing I'm already alright sooner than I did.

And aren't you the one who said the thing we're most reluctant to give up in order to be alright, is the fervent, feverish, cherished belief that we're not already alright? How brilliant is that?  How pure  is that. Your brilliance doesn't come from figuring things out or from being the smarty pants. Your brilliance comes from your simple willingness to stand and look into the space and say what's there without adding embellishment, opinion, interpretation, or spin. "Oh anyone  can do that Laurence ..." say the naysayers. Perhaps. But there's a big difference in this regard between you and anyone: for the most part, people don't have such a commitment to this stand as you do. Inside the commitment you demonstrate, people can discover their  stand for themselves. Your unflagging demonstration is an enormous gift to humanity.

That's  why I love you. Listen: even when I'm confronted by a "why" question, I don't need a reason to love you. I love you because I love you. I don't need a reason to love anyone. But if I agreed to come up with the reason I love you, that would be it. That's what I would reply if asked why I love you. That would be my reason.

OK, that would be one  of my reasons. Why do I love you? Let me count the reasons ...

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