Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More

Entre Nous

Napa Valley, California, USA

June 18, 2010

Photograph courtesy Clare Erhard-Trick
Werner Erhard
Entre nous. It's French for "between us". Between us is the gap. It's either an uncrossable chasm over an unplumbable abyss ... or it's an intimacy so seamless there's only one of us.

The unspoken un-languaged  communication between us is like a barely started e-mail which now sits latent in my drafts  folder - it's been there ever since I promised you it. Whenever I go back to it to finish it, to say something, things go quiet - quiet, as in preverbal, whole. There's nothing coming to say to reach you even though your presence is everywhere.

So I just sit ... gazing at it.

As an edge, as a stake, as an ante up, I'm up against giving over to being completely and totally full - your gift to me. When I'm like this I don't need anything or anyone.

It's OK with me. Except when it's apropos you. Then I regard not needing anyone  with trepidation. As soon as I realize being full and whole like this has me not needing you, that's when I discover I actually never want to  not need you to the point where I'm no longer continuously and intentionally and always moving toward you.

My life is exactly this: continuously, intentionally, always moving toward you. It's always  going this way in this direction. It's a paradox, a conundrum, an enigma. I don't need you - because of the gift of fullness you've given me - and yet I always want  to need you.

God! I can't come up with a better word than "need" for this. In the ordinary sense, in the business as usual  sense, "need" is too far down the damn totem pole, given what I'm implying. I really mean "need" in an extraordinary sense, in the same way as I need  my heart or my lungs or my blood ... like that - that's what I mean when I say I need you. And even that isn't it yet.

I'm so inspired by the possibility of what you and I are in conversation. It moves me to tears - literally. Sometimes people, when they notice, ask "What's happening, Laurence? What's going on?" to which I respond "I'm just totally happy. Totally.".

That's when this entre nous  is a privilege - nothing more, nothing less.

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