He's the kind of coach
with whom I can
anything. And I don't mean with whom I can
"just about" anything - you know, almost all
of it but with critical items held back for privacy or simple
politeness and prudent discretion or just because I'm embarrassed to
something. No, it's with him I can
shareanything. With him I can
totally openly without any filters or brakes ... about anything and
everything - that is to say about absolutely anything and
It's extraordinarily useful being with someone like him with whom it's
this way. I don't mean it's useful because of the feedback he gives in
response to what I say (though that does play a part). I mean speaking
totally openly with him is its own utility. It allows me to experience
It also allows me to notice how I ever-so-subtly embellish the truth.
It's the exact opposite of hiding out. It's a standard, a
yardstick by which the authenticity of all conversations can be
measured. And if I don't measure up to this standard, he calls me on
it. When he calls me on something I say, it's almost never because I
violated a rule of
or syntax. It's because I cavalierly held something out to be true when
it wasn't true, and I wasn't aware (ie I wasn't being
enough to catch) I was doing it.
That's how it was when he called me on something I said about
a mutual friend of ours,
someone we both love and who inspires us both. In
my experience of him, I said "He's so
for me that even when I'm not with him, he's right here beside
me.". Without missing a beat, he said "No he's not. You're
imagining he's right there beside you.". At first it
seemed as if he didn't get my experience. So I repeated "No, he
is right here beside me.". In retrospect, I wanted to
there's a certain
in our relationship, something esoteric. "No, you're imagining
he's right there beside you" he said again - slowly, and emphatically.
And it slowly dawned on me (when I stopped being defensive) he
did get my experience - so much so that he was indicating
an even more powerful way for me to own it.
Imagination. It's so elusive to define. It's almost impossible
to describe. Yet we all know what it is. Doing it is simpler than
making a sandwich. But I can't explain to you how we
imagine. It's one of those ubiquitous
we human beings have which we can only define
ie in terms of itself - for example, like this: the way you and I
imagine is by imagining (say whut?). The critical
thing about imagination (and about a powerful imagination
in particular) is it shouldn't supersede what could be true. There
should be no blurred edges between them (look: to be
is to know the difference). We all know it's disparaging to say to
someone "You're just imagining it.". That implies they're
making up something which isn't true ("imagining" often carries the
disparaging connotation of "not matching reality").
That's not what he unerringly drew my
to. What he got me to see, was the power of my applied imagination. If
I was only being enamored with that
I wasn't being responsible for creating it in the first place.
So I began considering that this
is actually something I have the power to call up for myself at will,
my imagination. Owning that, rehabilitates my power to create by
leveraging imagination to its max, lifting it out of the realm of an
ability with dubious truth, and into the realm of total (and
reality-grounded) pure creativity. Wow! Imagination as ...
pure ... creativity! I liked that. A
What he distinguished stunned me, pointing at it (as he did) with so
few words. This is what imagination is. This
is what it is to create something (or even someone). This
is not the imagination of wishful fabrication ie it's not the
imagination which can blur the line between fact and fantasy.
This is the imagination that powerfully
in the first place, the imagination for which I have become (and am
henceforth being) responsible. It's my inherent power to create.