Conversations For Transformation:
Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard
Conversations For Transformation
Essays By Laurence Platt
Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard
On Feeling Good About Feeling Bad
Not Yet Located
Not Yet Dated
"If you could really
that you weren't OK, you could
proving you were OK. If you could
proving that you were OK, you could get that it was OK not to be OK.
If you could get that it was OK not to be OK, you could get that you
were OK the way you are. You're OK, get it?"
* * *
I asked him to stop ... and look ... then tell me what's
out-here. He did. After a moment's contemplation, he answered
correctly ("correctly" that is, in my opinion) by saying the entire
universe is out-here. Great. Then I asked him what's
inside (pointing to my head). He responded, again after a
moment, by saying there's another entire universe inside.
That's actually neither an unusual nor an unintelligent asessment. And
it's widespread. So I asked him to enumerate what's inside, intending
to share some pragmatic wisdom and mastery with him. "What do you mean
'enumerate what's inside'?" he asked, "there's too much
inside to enumerate - it's infinite.". "No it's not" I countered, "and
furthemore, holding it undistinguished as infinite is, for the most
part, what keeps us stuck.". "OK" he bit, "what is
"Try this on for size" I suggested, "not like it's 'The
Truth' because that will just ruin it for you; rather like
it's a platform on which to stand and look.".
"All that's inside are three things" I continued, "one, feelings and
emotions; two; thoughts and memories; three, bodily sensations.
Moreover, if you look real closely, you'll notice all three of them are
on full automatic. And we have it that if we're not
feeling good all the time, then something's wrong. What if it's
entirely normal for human beings to have some bad feelings
at any given time automatically along with some good
feelings? What if having some bad feelings is just what human beings
have, and there's nothing wrong when they're there? The trouble starts
not with feeling bad, but with not accepting and with not allowing ie
with resisting the normalcy of having bad feelings from time to time.".
"If you could get it's OK to have some bad feelings, you'd stop futzing
with them. You'd leave them be, and they'd leave you be. Having bad
feelings from time to time, would be OK. And that's how you feel good
about feeling bad" I said.