Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More



Closer And Closer

Jessup Cellars, Yountville, California, USA

March 1, 2011



"The closer I get to you, the more you make me see." ... Roberta Flack

"The closer I get to you, the more there is of me." ... Laurence Platt
This essay, Closer And Closer, is the first in the fifth trilogy Questions For A Friend:
  1. Closer And Closer
  2. Tête À Tête
  3. Dancing With Life
in that order.
The first trilogy Questions For A Friend is:
  1. Prelude
  2. Ask Me Anything
  3. Coming Around Again
in that order.
The second trilogy Questions For A Friend is:
  1. Familiar Unfamiliar Territory
  2. Interview
  3. Straight Talk
in that order.
The third trilogy Questions For A Friend is:
  1. Dancing With My Mouth
  2. Cave Paintings
  3. Velvet Tsunami
in that order.
The fourth trilogy Questions For A Friend is:
  1. Creating Creating
  2. Tell Me Something About Nothing
  3. Lucid Disclosures
in that order.
The sixth trilogy Questions For A Friend is:
  1. What Would I Ask You If I Could Ask You Anything?
  2. Wonderings About Nothing In Particular
  3. Tipping Point
in that order.
The seventh trilogy Questions For A Friend is:
  1. Beyond Breathing Underwater
  2. Bold Faced Truth
  3. What You Create For Yourself About Me
in that order.
The eighth trilogy Questions For A Friend is:
  1. Once In A Lifetime
  2. Fireside Chat
  3. Whole And Complete
in that order.
The ninth trilogy Questions For A Friend is:
  1. Questions For A Friend
  2. Nothing Else I'd Rather Be Doing
  3. Free To Be And Free To Act
in that order.
The tenth trilogy Questions For A Friend is:
  1. Attracted To Dance
  2. I Told A Friend I Love You
  3. Terse Transformed Communication
in that order.
The eleventh trilogy Questions For A Friend is:
  1. A Context Worth Playing In
  2. Tie The Brush To My Hand
  3. Unimaginably Terse
in that order.



It's said "A friend in need is a friend indeed".

To get the correct sense of this circa 300 BC  proverb, include the implied "when you are"  - like this: "A friend when you are  in need is a friend indeed".

I'm deeply grateful for my friends who've stood by me through troublesome times. Really I am. I also notice when I get down to the nitty gritty  of it, in those times when I'm preoccupied with my own need, I can't be anyone's friend. Not really. And it's not that there's anything wrong with being in need. Only an uncompassionate, uncaring, brutal human being would construe there's anything wrong with being in need. For starters, a staggering  amount of people on our planet still need essentials - like food, water, and shelter. It's almost inconceivable  that they still do, given the availability of adequate resources and wealth to feed and house everyone. But that's a subject for another conversation on another occasion.

In this  conversation I'm speaking about a very specific need: the need for completion, the need for fullness, the need for a sense of well being  and peace. If I don't have a sense of completion, a sense of fullness, a sense of well being and peace, there's no one - friend or otherwise - who can give it to me. In fact, the people who are my best  friends don't attempt to complete me, to make me full, or to take care  of me in order to create a sense of well being and peace for me if I come to them with a need like this.

The people who are my best friends don't do anything  for me in this regard. Rather, they'll remind me - either by their words or by their stand  or simply by who they're being that my access to the genuine, authentic, lasting, thrilling  completion, fullness, and sense of well being and peace is for me to generate it ... by ... my ... Self. Really it is. This is an occasion when a Band Aid  fix simply doesn't work - no matter how much it's cried for.

When I transform my own need  for completion, fullness, and a sense of well being and peace, this is when mastery begins. This isn't for the faint hearted. Flying only comes to chicks whom Mama Bird has kicked out of the nest, sometimes from a dizzy height. That's not for the faint hearted chick either. When friends compassionately acknowledge my need for completion, fullness, and a sense of well being and peace, yet leave me alone without it, knowing if they interfere  with a Band Aid fix, they'll actually lessen the likelihood I'll generate completion, fullness, and a sense of well being and peace by ... my ... Self, they're good friends.

Thank you for being my Friend. Thank you for recognizing what I see in you is what I need to create for myself. Thank you for being wise enough not to interfere with my own path to mastery by granting me the space to fulfill my own need for completion, fullness, and a sense of well being and peace by ... my ... Self.

As I get closer to you, especially when I come closer to you in need, a miracle happens. When I look around, I see to be sure  I am closer. But it's not you  I've gotten closer to: it's me.

As soon as I recognize this, then we can really  talk - face to face, mano a mano, tête à tête.



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