Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More

Erotica On Schedule

Los Carneros Appellation, Napa Valley, California, USA

February 22, 2008

This essay, Erotica On Schedule, is the ninth in an open group Encounters With A Friend:
  1. Showing Up
  2. Poet Laureate
  3. A Man In The Crowd
  4. Real Men Cry
  5. A Different Set Of Rules
  6. Nametag: A True Story
  7. Half-Life
  8. Waiting On You
  9. Erotica On Scheudule
  10. A House On Franklin Street
  11. NeXT
  12. Reflection On A Window
  13. Here And There
  14. How To Enroll The World
  15. Demonstration
  16. Two Of Me II: Confirmation Not Correction
  17. Holiday Spectacular
  18. Hello! How Are Things Going For You?
  19. Regular Guy
  20. A Scholar And A Gentleman
  21. Images Of You
  22. With Nothing Going On
  23. Where No One Has Gone Before
  24. Attachment: Causeway Between Islands
  25. If You're Not Then Don't
  26. Images Of You II
  27. Living Where Life Is
  28. Create Me The Way I Am
  29. How Do You Spell The Sound A Ratchet Makes?
  30. You Don't Ask "Why Me?"  When It's Raining II
  31. The Stink Of Zen
  32. Sitting Quietly In A Room Alone
  33. Footsteps On Metal Stairs
so far, in that order.

I am indebted to Anais Nin and to Susan Franzheim who inspired this conversation.

I was sitting down to have lunch with my best friend. We hadn't seen each other in a while, way too long to deprive myself of the presence of (and of the gift  of) this relationship, I was thinking as I arranged my napkin on my lap.

We talked amiably and animatedly, joyed to be together again. He paused, a forkful of salad almost to his mouth, and said "So, Laurence, how's your love life going these days? Are you getting laid?".

I blinked in surprise. "I can't believe he asked me that"  I thought. But it wasn't the question itself which surprised me. It was the way he asked it. It was completely devoid of intonation. This wasn't boy talk. It was as bland as "So, Laurence, did you have oats for breakfast this morning?".

A slight feeling of awkwardness, a second or two of flushed cheeks embarrassment passed. Then, quickly warming to the opportunity of actually having this  conversation with him, I said smiling "Actually no - it's been a dry spell.".

He smiled back, finished his salad, chewing each mouthful slowly and carefully. Then he said "The dry spell's  got nothing to do with it. You're not getting laid because you haven't scheduled getting laid.".

Like so many of his ideas, this idea of scheduling  getting laid, intrigued me immediately. Even though the idea of putting such delights into my calendar  had never occurred to me before, that's not what intrigued me. Even though the notion of planning ahead  for such a joy had not crossed my mind before, that's not what got me. Even though the thought of rearranging all my notions of an activity I'd considered to be designated only as an on-the-spur-of-the-moment  activity into an agenda like a business meeting, that's not what interested me either.

What intrigued me, what got me, what interested me about this idea of his, his erotica on schedule, was in order to take it on, I'd have to give up  having it be something that only happens spontaneously ie by itself. Instead, I would have to intentionally bring forth who I really am  into my love life.

To the degree I've taken control of my time, I've taken control of my life. When I get that, very quickly the myth of "There's not enough time" is vanquished. What the President of the United States, Paul McCartney, the United Auto Workers  union member on the assembly line, a homeless man on the street corner, the Archbishop of Canterbury, a worker in a Bangladeshi rice paddy, and Laurence have in common is we all have twenty four hours in a day. It's not true there's not enough time. Twenty four hours a day is one hundred percent all the time there is, and we each have all of it. What's true is there's not enough time allocation. And time allocation, it seems to me, is little more than asserting how I'll spend my time.

Lunch continued as we spoke. Dessert came. I saw bringing who I really am  to bear on my time is the same as bringing who I really am  to bear on my love life. I saw I'd be willing to schedule, say, a tax audit even though I'd prefer not to be engaging in that activity. Yet I'd never considered scheduling getting laid even though I'd prefer engaging in this activity.

And then I saw something else, something which gave his new way of looking at erotica on schedule  an entirely new spotlight.

I saw who we really are, what our true nature  is comprised of is everything that's sweet, all that's delectable, all the best of what's attractive, tender, soft and delicious. Indeed who we really are, in a most profound way when held in the appropriate context, is exactly what makes erotica  erotic! Scheduling it suddenly made sense. Scheduling it suddenly became the access to bringing it forth.

"Smart" I mused, smiling at him. "Very  smart.". He smiled back saying nothing, his crystal steel blue eyes locked on mine, the ice cubes in his glass clinking as he took a sip of water.

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