I've been a big believer in hands on love. It's a bit like
hands on management. You're not simply running the show.
You're not simply calling the shots from afar yet not down and dirty
yourself, not in the thick of things. You're right there in the process
itself, experiencing it along with everyone else, hands on.
That's an apt description for both hands on management as well as for
hands on love.
Hands on love has another component I've always revered, one that's
exactly what's implied in the phrase "hands on
love": touching, feeling, which in turn implies being physically close
enough to touch and feel.
In some instances, the notion of hands on management ie
in favor of delegation and hands off management. This
could also be said with regard to hands on love and
hands off love. But the intention of this essay isn't to
vote for one or for the other. It's simply to make the distinction.
Besides which, hands off management and hands
off love aren't really exactly analogous. They're interimly
similar. Yet ultimately they're not even really in the same order of
revealing who he really is, revealed to me the possibility of hands
off love. It's more than that, actually. In my life, before I
got to know who Werner really is, there simply wasn't any
possibility for hands off love at all. I couldn't have
imagined hands off love as a real, thrilling, living possibility even
if my life had depended on being able to bring it forth like a
For all intents and purposes, "hands off love", like "smart bomb" and
"military intelligence", was an oxymoron, a complete and utter
contradiction in terms. When I personally expressed love, I
wanted to and assumed it would mean hands on love quite
literally, as soon and as often as possible.
with hands on love. It's a good place to start. It's where
we all start - from a very, very early age. But the
broader truth, at least for me, became patently clear only later.
teased out a distinction I now call hands off love
as an experience which comes from a bigger place than
hands on love, even as it nurtures hands on love. It's this bigger
place from where I intend to bring forth mastery from now on. It's this
bigger place, hands off love, which expands over, which precedes yet
which includes hands on love.
If hands on love is wanting and having, then hands off love is
If hands on love is holding, then hands off love is setting
If hands on love is finding love in another, then hands off love is
experiencing Self as love.
If hands on love is getting complete through love, then hands off
love is being complete with love.