Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More

Stand Like A Rock, Love Like A River

American Canyon, California, USA

June 22, 2012

"You don't have to go looking for love when it is where you come from."  ... 
This essay, Stand Like a Rock, Love Like A River, is the eighth in a group of twenty one on Love:

Stand like a rock, love like a river.

This isn't a recipe. It's neither a strategy  nor a plan for getting love right. If you hear it like a recipe, like a strategy or like a plan for getting love right, then you don't get it, then you're missing the point of it. It's none of the above. It's an observation.

It's an observation looking from  transformation at what's possible for love. The inquiry "What's possible for love?" isn't found in the romance  section of the bookstore. Neither will you find it on so-called self-help  websites touting "How to find your perfect love / soul mate". And you certainly won't find it on the Billboard  charts as the cure  for "Looking for love in all the wrong places ...". This isn't because there are right  places to look for love. It's because in transformation there's no  looking for love (that's a suggestion, by the way, not a rule).

Here's why in transformation there's no looking for love: it's because love is where you're coming from  (as Werner Erhard may have said). Love is where you're looking from. In fact, love comes from the you who's looking.

Gee! I hope you get that.

Life is simple. It's not complicated. But because we've made  our lives complicated (which we've done mostly by stepping over integrity), then when Life's clues, pointers, and reminders appear simple, we tend to discard them or discount their value. We're convinced  if it's valuable it's got  to be complicated. Because we discard and discount the simplicity of Life, our lives don't work. And our response to our lives not working is to become jaded and skeptical as our retaliation against, indeed as our rage  against our continual disappointment with the way things occur for us.
Werner Erhard's "You don't have to go looking for love when it is where you come from" is actually so simple  it can be hard to get. No, it can be more than hard to get. It can be brutal  actually. The world doesn't recognize it. It's not taught in schools. Some fundamentalist religions actually preach against it. The entire thrust  of relationships on the planet is to find  love. So when not spoken from a platform of transformation, "You don't have to go looking for love when it is where you come from" flies in the face of what everyone knows, and in any case it's patently simplistic, yes? So we dismiss it.

I assert we dismiss it at our own peril.

The basis of love, the foundation, the platform without which I assert there can be no love  is who I really am. Don't merely accept this. Try it on for size. This is one of Life's clues, pointers, and reminders which at first appears so simplistic that we discard it or discount its value. We've progressively hidden and covered this platform for love to the degree that there's now plenty of agreement for another person out there  (rather than who I really am) being the critical ingredient for love. We've gone as far as culturally boycotting the notion that love is who I really am. We've blanketed it with all kinds of screens - like egotism  (arguably the most all time misunderstood notion about human beings there is), so-called self-importance, and the like.

Who I really am, the enlightened Self which comes with transformation, is none of the above. That's why when I say "stand like a rock", I say it's not a plan for getting love right. Rather, it's an observation of the wholeness, of the fullness, and of the completeness of the Self. Love coming from any other platform, especially a platform in which another person out there is the critical ingredient for love, devolves toward becoming frantic, insecure, and fleeting. Not standing like a rock, it's no wonder that's what's left for love. Not standing like a rock, it's no surprise that's all that's available for love. Not standing like a rock, it's no mystery that's all that's possible for love - which even in its dire scarcity is the very best  that's possible for love.

We've mostly dismissed Werner Erhard's "You don't have to go looking for love when it is where you come from" at our own peril. And even if it isn't the language of Werner Erhard's original expression of this source of love which we've dismissed (if the truth be told, many people haven't even heard it spoken this way), then it's our own experience  of its inexorable truth which we've dismissed.

You're standing like a rock, you're loving like a river. You're ebbing, you're flowing, you're bubbling, you're calming, you're dancing, you're standing still, you're embracing, you're releasing, you're delighting in being with and you're delighting in being away from and you're delighting in again being with people and with Life itself. Ensure you have this model as an observation looking from transformation at what's possible for love, rather than as a recipe or as a strategy or as a plan for getting love right. You've already tried the latter. Tell the truth about it: you already know love doesn't work that way.

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