Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More

Light In The Night

Cowboy Cottage, East Napa, California, USA

January 3, 2007

This essay, Light In The Night, is the third in a group of sixteen about my daughter Alexandra:
  1. Alexandra
  2. Babe On The Freeway
  3. Light In The Night
  4. Alexandra II
  5. Santa Barbara
  6. True Gold
  7. Goleta Beach
  8. Getting Into Your World
  9. Fly Baby Bird!
  10. Celebration At Essaouira
  11. The Woman She Creates Herself To Be
  12. City Girl
  13. Vocal Prowess
  14. Lost And Found: A Tale Of Ownership, Loss, And Triumph
  15. Girly Girl
  16. My Baby Girl, Now A Bride
in that order.

I am indebted to my daughter Alexandra Lindsey Platt who inspired this conversation.

She came to me late one night, this angel of light and love and bubbling laughter. If she hadn't come I would have been OK without her. But she did come, and when she looked at me for that first time, I melted realizing I was born to love her forever.

There's no qualifying a love like this. It's simply there. It doesn't occur as a condition for anything. It's mutual. It's reciprocal. There's never a question of or a concern for it being unrequited. It will never go away. It will only expand. Sometimes it's almost too much  to be fully open to.

There's no manipulation required to keep it in place. There's no games required to redirect it or to improve it. It's enough in and of itself to validate entire lives. It sets the bar for what's possible in all  relationships, and it's vast enough to provide a context for everything a human being will ever do on Earth.

Certainly it's an exceptional gift when this angel comes to me. But she's not like money. When I have money, I have it. When I don't, I don't. She's not like that. When she's with me it's a gift. When she's not with me, it's still a gift just knowing she's on the same planet as me, wherever she may be.

In love with her I have no attention on myself. I want nothing in return. All I want is for her to be uncomplicated and free so her exuberance and unrestrained joy flow freely yet directed into the endeavors she chooses to immerse herself in. Indeed, what can I give a gushing geyser of enthusiasm as beautiful and as true as she?

There's an area in my life where I notice I do have something to offer her. That's in my speaking and listening, and in the invented distinction "who I really am" as opposed to "who I'd always considered myself to be". When I first experienced transformation, I knew the way I had lived up until that moment was finished. I saw it was all over for Laurence Platt. I saw who I am is the space in which the events of my life occur. I saw I am not my story. I saw I'm enough. That's  my gift to her. No, not that she gets it about me:  that she gets it about herself.

One day when my love has flown away, I'll know she's OK in life because she knows who she is and she knows it's enough. She my legacy - not just another consumer but rather a gorgeous magnanimous space which, once known, leaves the world divinely gifted, irretrievably and irrevocably altered.

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