Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More

Girly Girl

Rincon, California, USA

October 31, 2019

Timeless Classic Rincon

Photography by Woody Woodworth

This essay, Girly Girl, is the companion piece to Boyne City, October 2023 III: Blonde Boy.

It is also the fifteenth in a group of sixteen about my daughter Alexandra:
  1. Alexandra
  2. Babe On The Freeway
  3. Light In The Night
  4. Alexandra II
  5. Santa Barbara
  6. True Gold
  7. Goleta Beach
  8. Getting Into Your World
  9. Fly Baby Bird!
  10. Celebration At Essaouira
  11. The Woman She Creates Herself To Be
  12. City Girl
  13. Vocal Prowess
  14. Lost And Found: A Tale Of Of Ownership, Loss, And Triumph
  15. Girly Girl
  16. My Baby Girl, Now A Bride
in that order.

It is also the seventeenth in an ongoing collection with embedded Music Videos: I am indebted to my daughter Alexandra Lindsey Platt, who inspired this conversation.

To me, when she was very young, just a baby really, she was very girly  (that's an adjective) - that is, she was a very girly child ie very feminine, very delicate, and in my eyes, heart-achingly beautiful. Later, what was once the adjective to describe her, became the name "Girly", my term of endearment for her (the adjective became a noun). Indeed, Girly would grow to be a very  girly girl ... and soon "Girly Girl" became my new term of endearment for her, the one that's lasted to the present day.

with Alexandra - Girl (The Beatles)
There's a certain context  to share here, a background if you will, that goes beyond my experience of Girly Girl. While I experience it acutely, poignantly, privately, personally etc, in actuality there's nothing private or personal about it at all. It's just the natural love that shows up for parents in their relationships with their children. It gets to the heart of our experience of our children. Beyond that, it gets to the heart of our experience of each other.

My experience of Girly Girl has lasted thirty years. At the start of its spectrum was a baby, a beautifully innocent, miraculously perfect, breathtakingly adorable baby. At the current end is a fully mature, adult woman who's now managing her own life independent of me, succeeding in society, loved by friends and work associates alike, and indeed respected by whomever she's in contact with. It's a most wondrous thing to behold. How so, Laurence?

As a baby, there were no guarantees the latter would be her future, even if I'd figured out great parenting skills, no matter if I gave her everything I had. I could only give it my best shot, then wait. It was a wait for a miracle really. I mean, look: how can a delicate, beautifully fragile, dependent baby  human being ever  become an adult master of life in their own right in the big, bad, dangerous world? How can she be protected when I'm not there to protect her, so that no harm becomes her? I was consumed by: what can I do to ensure this lovely, adorable child, my baby, is equipped to ride life's wild  waves? Does she have what it takes? Will she discover her power? Will her life be effortless and easy, ethical and moral? Will it have integrity?  Oh, and: will it work?

That was nearly thirty years ago. Now, adult Girly Girl is prosperous and successful. I can tell she's got what it takes. Her life works. She's in a relationship that works. She's safe - without me protecting her. She's in great financial shape. She has integrity. So my ideas are validated. But it's not a validation coming from people saying "Well done Laurence!" as they pin medals on my chest. Nothing like that. It's a validation coming directly from Life itself. And isn't Life itself the source of our children, as well as our relationships with them, in the first place? See, validations of ideas coming from Life itself are the profoundest types of validations there are to get, yes?

There's a certain designation of workability that's not awarded, even if your life works. Having your own life work is just the first ante into this pot. This designation of workability is only awarded when the lives of those around  you, work too - work, out of what you speak, out of what you stand for, out of what you do, out of what you source. When others' lives work out of your life working, then this workability is designated. Like that, Girly Girl's life has this workability which keeps on inspiring.

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© Laurence Platt - 2019 through 2023 Permission