Everyone shares the sense there's something special about family.
There's something fundamental and proud about being
family. If family doesn't work, its unworkability carries with it a
sense of profound disappointment. There's a sense it
should work - we expect it to. And if or when it
doesn't work, there's a sense of surprise, of upset, of confusion,
even of loss. There's near total universal consensus among
all people everywhere that family not working isn't the preferred
way of being.
If any other group in which you include yourself doesn't work eg
your residential community, your work group, even your friends,
while there's often a sense of dislocation, it's never as
pronounced as the sense of upset, confusion, and loss when family
doesn't work. If you examine this aspect of family closely, you'll
notice the sense of upset, confusion, and loss when family doesn't
work, comes on automatically. If you tell the truth about
it, anything which comes on automatically isn't easy to
distinguish. In other words, whatever judges family isn't working,
is on automatic - and is therefore not easy to distinguish.
For this particular conversation, I'd like you to consider the
possibility that "whatever judges family isn't working"
IS "family isn't working".