I am indebted to Laurel Scheaf who inspired this conversation.
That is to say it's become very
When I write, that is to say when I'm in the process of writing, I'm
immersed in the ideas, abstractions, and distinctions of what's there
to say (that is to say I'm swimming in them). Then I
write. And the end result of my words on paper (in my case, the end
result of my words on screen) speaks eloquent testimony ie provides
evidence that a process has played out / completed prior to their
The process I'm referring to, is an essay with its component shared
ideas, abstractions, and distinctions coming into existence, coming
into being. And it's a process that goes on all the time, no matter
what I'm doing, no matter whether I'm driving, hiking, cooking ... you
know no matter whatever it is a human being does in their waking hours
in the ordinary course of living their life.
Then I declared this sabbatical, the second one I've declared since
this Conversations For
Transformation internet series of essays seventeen years ago.
I've put all writing aside. I've put my pencil and paper (in my case,
my keyboard and screen) aside. In many respects, I've completed the
backlog of what I always wanted to say. Now I'm taking the time to look
at what there is to say newly (if anything at all) - that is to say I'm
taking the time to allow what there is to say newly, to make itself
known (which includes looking at what's already been said which could
be improved if said newly). And when / if it does ie when I have the
next thing to say, I'll e-mail an announcement, one which (if you're on
my e-mail distribution list) you would have received by now.
time, what's becoming obvious is I'm either not living a created life,
or I am. Yes that's a clear reference to creating these Conversations
For Transformation. But it's more than that. It's much more. It's that
as a human being alive on
somewhere in the
universe (as Carl Sagan may have said) in which our
is a denizen, I'm either living as if I'm creating my life and
... or I'm not. It's an either / or, mutually exclusive, one or the
other ... but never both. There's no gray area. Creating Conversations
For Transformation is merely one facet of that. The bigger context is:
am I (are we) living creating
simply by being who we are? (and notice this: writing some, any, or all
of it down, is entirely optional) or are we living inauthentically?
I have a new
to seeing this. It's this sabbatical I'm taking. It's had me press
[PAUSE] on creating new essays. In other words, I'm in the
phase of writing /
That much is as clear as it's obvious. But it's not the
living-the-created-life we speak about. I'm
or I'm writing, is the either / or, mutually exclusive, one or the
other but never both ... obviously. The created life we speak
about is the outcome of standing for being the creator of our own lives
an idea way beyond (and including) creating essays. And I'm either not
creating my own life and
... or I am. There's no gray area.
I notice having put down my pen, that this sabbatical is allowing me
the uninterrupted time necessary for discovering that (for
re-discovering it, actually) for myself.