It's the third possible response which
really is, is becoming
to the situation. The first two, fight or flight, are for the most part
automatic responses. There's
with either of them. We're constructed to respond this way from time to
time. It's what ensures our
- literally. It's what comes with the package. But what
up brings which is new, which doesn't come with the package, is
responsibility, and possibility. This is
who I am.
I'm responsible for this. Now what?
These realizations are the very stuff of
living. They don't
themselves. Neither do you have a right to them, and neither are they
easy to wrestle with. If
were easy, wouldn't the entire world be
Ask yourself: what's my choice here? What possibility can I invent
here? Whatever the answers to these questions are, asking them allows
something new to emerge, something more than simply a hormonal
endrocrinal keyed response for which no one except your own
clockwork-ness can take any credit.
Notice you can't answer these questions
and neither will anything new
to the situation and
to the challenge - fight and flight are not options. It's not just that
you can't have a worthwhile inquiry when no one is at home. It's that
the problem state, whatever the problem is, is always axiomatically
the über-conversation "This isn't it".
to it, the problem state is vanquished.
changes out there, yet the missing link -
if you will) - returns. Someone is at home.
is in the station.
It's OK the way it is,
and there's choice in the matter of