This essay,
This Isn't That,
is the companion piece to
This Isn't That II.
The
conversation
in which it occurred was a
conversation
about a success workshop a
friend
of mine recently attended. But that's not the way the
conversationstarted. The way the
conversation
started was with my
friend
asking me about these
Conversations For
Transformation
which she'd come across after googling something else on
the
internet
(that's one of the really great things about the
internet:
you google one thing, and then after a discontiguous series of links
and hops, you come across other things, even entirely unrelated other
things, which are extremely valuable). She wanted to know what
Conversations For
Transformation
are.
It's a challenge to respond to that in ten
words
or less of one syllable each. But that's what I did. And almost as soon
as I'd closed my
mouth
after the
last word,
she said "Oh I know what you mean: I just did something similar" and
she proceeded to describe her success workshop.
I
listened
attentively. I've read about the workshop she described although I've
not attended it myself. The thing is she could have been describing any
other workshop or any other program which she could riff
off (if you will) this
Conversations For
Transformationinternet
series of
essays,
with her "Oh I know what you mean: I just did something similar.".
She could have been in any other workshop or program or
enlightened
religious
service
even, and say exactly the same thing about
Conversations For
Transformation
and
Werner's work:
"Oh I know what you mean: I just did something similar.".
I let her finish without interrupting. She was
alive
and enthusiastic - and I like that. And when she'd finished her
description, I looked at her and said "This isn't that.".
There are two insights here. The first is success doesn't equate to
transformation,
any more than a hole in the sand equates to the stick you made the hole
in the sand with. Holes in the sand and sticks are
worlds
apart. To equate success to
transformation,
would be like equating the hole in the sand to the stick you made the
hole in the sand with (as
Werner Erhard
may have said). The second insight is we live our lives driven by the
logic system "Everything is the same as everything else
... except not always" (another of
Werner's
incisive ideas). That's
how
we
listen:
as if
Conversations For
Transformation
and
Werner's work
are the same as success workshops ... except not always. Without
inquiring into the way we
listen
or at least being willing to examine it, it's not likely we'll ever
listen
any other way. I knew I had to give her the space to
listen
that way. When I said "This isn't that", I had
nothingattached
to it. I just wanted her to get the way she was
listening.
The truth is it may take a day or so of inquiry to really get
underneath the way we
ordinarilylisten
and to get clear about
how
we're run by unexamined assumptions about life: for example, the way
we're run by success and by the drive to be successful. And if you're
thinking
"So what
if we're run by the drive to be successful?", I'd ask you to consider a
successful
machine
is no different than an unsuccessful
machine:
a successful
machine
is run by the drive to be successful - just as an unsuccessful
machine
is run by whatever it's run by.
Now that's something worth looking into. The drive to be successful is
the drive to escape being a
machine.
The trouble is you can never escape being a
machine.
How
poignant is that! You can easily recognize the
machines
who are run by the drive to be successful. They're the ones with the
rictus grinspainted
on their
faces
(you've seen them - you do know who I mean). They're successful, yet
poignantly they're still
machines.
"OK" she said "If it's not that, then what is it?". "It's an
experience" I said.
"Nothing
more and
nothing
less. If there's one thing which all my
essays
have in common, it's an experience. So there's really
nothing
to figure out or to make sense of. The thing is to just read them, and
to have whatever experience they leave you with. That's mission
accomplished. Some things you can't explain or figure out. But you can
experience them.".
There's one more thing: "This isn't that" distinguishes one thing
from another. It was applied in this particular
conversation.
But we actually apply it all the time in life
continuously. It's arguably one of the most fundamental distinctions a
human being makes - indeed must make, without which we
couldn't function at all or even get along. If we don't make the
distinction "This isn't that" from time to time, we can't distinguish
between doors and the
walls
they're built into. You can easily tell which people can't distinguish
between doors and the
walls
they're built into. They're the ones with the banged up, bruised looks
on their
faces
- from walking into
walls.
Transformation
occurs in the realm of distinctions like "This isn't that.". Success,
on the other hand, occurs in the realm of
the world
and doesn't require
transformation
- indeed
transformation
is often glaringly missing from the lives of some of the most
successful people on
the planet
(you've seen them - you do know who I mean).
I don't know for sure if she got anything from our
conversation.
My guess is she probably did, but it's too soon to tell with certainty.
I'll find out when we talk again. But if I ventured she did get
something, it would be
how
easily and unthinkingly we slip into
listening
everything's the same as everything else - like
listening
success training is the same as
Conversations For
Transformation
and
Werner's work.
No, this isn't that. This is an experience, the experience of the
context
for all the events of our lives. It isn't the same as
success. Not even
close.
It includes success.