I'd set an alarm for 5:00am to get up, shower, and prepare for the
laser-like
focus which was about to ensue. At 6:00am bang on time, he's right
there on my laptop screen, and I can tell he's equally prepared for our
meeting. The "Hello!"s and the "How are you?"s are quickly dispensed
with. And there's really nothing wrong with "Hello!"s and "How are
you?"s, except that the occasions we have together are too valuable,
too precious to spend much time on them.
He cuts through them like a hot knife through butter. "So what's
really going on?" he asks. And yes, there's a list I've
made of what I'd like to run by him, or at least of what I'd like him
to know (just knowing he knows has its own order of value, all by
itself). But the
real worth
of sharing my list with him, lies a lot less in its subject matter's
issues, and a lot more in just being in
a conversation with himabout anything. He is a person who is his word - extremely
powerfully
so. He's so
powerful
I once deemed him to be "scary"powerful.
His
power
is whence the value of
being around him
comes. I get it
by osmosis.
In
a conversation with him,
you strap in, buckle up, then hang on for dear life throughout the ride
- which is as exhilarating as it's daunting. Ultimately all my
exchanges with him are some of the most valuable interactions I've ever
had the
privilege
of being in. They're the very antitheses of
business as usual.
The theme for our meeting emerges very early on in the piece when we're
talking about the various ways we make things
significant
even when they're not (things are just the way they are). And he
(there's no doubt about this in my mind, not one scintilla) is the
destroyer of
significance.
He is to
significance
as Lord Shiva is to the manifest creation, as tamas is to
the life force. And in the middle of sharing a recent incident with him
and the conclusions I drew from it (the specifics of which are actually
besides the point here), he says "If you say so.". I get it. I
made it up. I added
significance.
So I tell him I got how I add
significance
to just about everything, to which he says "If you say so" -
only this time, it stops me in my tracks. I begin entertaining the
possibility of things being the way they are only because I say so, and
(wait for it) the "... because I say so ..." part too is also only
because I say so. It's all my say-so.
Frantically I look for
a way out.
Something in me comes to a dead stop with
nowhere to go.
I share it with him. He says "... if you say so". It's confronting,
almost physical, like walking into a
brick
wall. There's nothing else. There's only "If you say so.". Wow!
Just: wow! I'm consumed by looking at what the point of it all is. I
say "I got it! There is no point", to which he replies
"... if you say so", at which
moment
a silence descends like a
blackvelvet
curtain. He quakes in a hearty
belly laugh
and says "This is it!". I'm wide-awake now. "If you say
so" I push back. I don't stay
stoopid
for long. He smiles, approvingly.
Now unfettered from the
significance
I put on my life,
our conversation
swings through a variety of issues:
health,
aging, retirement, creating a context, and not dragging the past into
the present (no matter how great the past was). He comes up with a
remarkable differentiation between "having a life" and
"being alive in the present moment" (a differentiation I
make a note of to revisit with him at a later date). I recreate the
subject material of a recent essay of mine for him, one which looks at
maintaining
integrity
even while not
keeping my word.
I'm clear on this distinction. But to hear him articulate it, is to
listen
a master at work. The economy and accuracy of his language is something
marvelous, his confidence speaking it awesome, its
power
mesmerizing.
Our scheduled time together is now rapidly drawing to its inevitable
close. Again, there's another burst of pleasantries, only this time
they're the "Goodbye" pleasantries rather than the "Hello"
pleasantries. And then he drops this nugget into our space: he tells me
that out of our interaction today, he's gained a deeper
access
to his
identity
as the "destroyer of
significance"
simply by naming it that way in the course of
our conversation
together (in response to one of my many "If you say so"s, no doubt).
When a master acknowledges you for
empowering
him in distinguishing something clearer that he's already quite
brilliant
at, you sit bolt-upright and take notice - which I did ... just in time
to hear him say "Talk with you soon", and watch my laptop screen fade
to
black.