A long
time
ago in a
galaxy
far, far away, I had a bit of control over the quality of my life. Yet
almost all of what determined the quality of my life, was
circumstantial.
That
means
the quality of my life was determined by whatever was going on at any
moment
in
time.
The
circumstances
determining the quality of my life, occurred in one of two areas:
external
circumstances
(what was going on out there in
the world)
and
internalcircumstances
(what was going on
internally
with me).
This
conversationlooks
at
how,
without any intervention on our part, the quality of our lives is
determined by
circumstances
- which is to say it
looks
at
how
we allow the quality of our lives to be determined by
circumstances.
Specifically, it
looks
at
how
we allow the quality of our lives to be determined by
internalcircumstances
ie by what goes on with our bodies (what physical sensations we have),
by our feelings (our emotional
state),
and by our thoughts (what we're thinking ie our
state
of
mind).
If my body aches (due to sickness or injury), I don't have a good day.
If I feel
sad,
frustrated, or angry etc, the quality of my life and my ability to have
a great
time,
is seriously impaired. If my thoughts are cloudy or if they dwell in
areas which don't
serve
me and yet are stuck there, it isn't
easy
for me to enjoy my life.
That's
how
it was for me:
circumstances
(internalcircumstances
in particular) determined the quality of my life. I had it that what
goes on with my body determines the quality of my life, that my
feelings determine the quality of my life, that my
state
of
mind
determines the quality of my life. Given
howlittle
control I have over what goes on with my body, my feelings, and my
state
of
mind,
I had
little
control over the quality of my life - a situation I accepted as
the way it
is
for us
humans.
During my
travels
I began
questioning
my own assumption that what goes on with us
internally
determines the quality of our lives. I
wonderedhow
some people I met languishing in the most extreme physical conditions
(abject poverty and impoverishment in the
Fiji islands
and the Brazil barrios and the
South Africanlocations for example) have a better quality of life (they
smile brighter and are more
alive)
than many of the
wealthiest
people I know. I also
wonderedhow
some people I met who have dire illnesses (cancer and HIV for example)
have a better quality of life (they smile brighter and are more
alive)
than many of the
healthiest
people I know.
What I noticed about them eventually offered a profound clue as to
why
their quality of life was so good, even given their abject poverty,
even given their dire illnesses ie I
listenedhow
they
spoke
their
internalcircumstances.
Here's what I noticed: if they were poor, they were
simply
poor; they didn't berate, complain about, or resent their poverty;
being
poor, they just
got
on with living their lives. If they were ill, they were
simply
ill; they didn't berate, complain about, or resent their illnesses;
being
ill, they just
got
on with living their lives. In spite of poverty, their quality of life
was good. In spite of illnesses, their quality of life was good.
Listen:
I'm
committed
to poverty
being
relegated to the ash heap of history. I'm also
committed
to the discovery (soon) of cures for cancer and HIV. That said, that
peoples' quality of life is a correlate of how they
speak
their
internalcircumstances
(and not of their
internalcircumstances
themselves) is now unavoidable. It's
Self-evident.
Consider
this (try it on for size): it's not what goes on with your body that
determines the quality of your life: it's what you say
about what goes on with your body that determines the quality of your
life; it's not your feelings that determine the quality of your life:
it's what you say about your feelings that determines the
quality of your life; it's not your
state
of
mind
that determines the quality of your life: it's what you
say about your
state
of
mind
that determines the quality of your life.
That's this
thesis
right here: it's not what goes on with you
internally
that determines the quality of your life. No, it's what you
say about it that's the determining factor. We have
little
control over what's going on with our bodies. We have
little
control over what's going on with our feelings. We have
little
control over what's going on with our
state
of
mind.
We have
little
control over what's going on with us
internally.
In other
words,
entrusting the quality of our lives to what's going on with us
internally,
is not the smart option. On the other hand, we have
total control over what we say about what's going on with
us
internally,
over what we say about what's going on with our bodies, over what we
say about our feelings, over what we say about our
state
of
mind.