One of the skills called for in sharing
Werner's work
with people is sharing it in such a way that they don't hear you saying
or even implying they need it - because they don't.
Another facet of this skill is sharing it in such a way that they don't
hear you saying or implying there's something missing (or worse, saying
or implying there's
something
wrong)
which
Werner's work
will provide (or
fix)
- because there isn't (and it doesn't). Rather, the effective way to
share it is as an access to possibility. Possibility, being what
it is for people, is real for every last person on
our Planet.
Be mindful that people may consider their sense of possibility to be
private and / or personal, at least to start with,
so the idea of its principles being scrutinized and shared by millions
of people around
the world
may be daunting to start with.
And so I happened to be in a conversation with a really nice person
who hasn't
participated
in
Werner's work
and who didn't know I have. But that soon changed (not dramatically,
mind you) when she asked what I did, and I shared a bit about
Conversations For
Transformation
and their inspiration, with her. Then I asked her to say something
about herself.
She described herself as a happy person. She also said she
has a positive outlook on Life. Both of those qualities
are attractive to me - at least initially, and at least on the surface.
And (for the most part) they come with a generous mileage
warranty - which is to say, you can go far with either or
both of them. But I wanted to explore deeper than that. It was
that kind of conversation.
I asked her what makes her happy. There's always a lot of overlap with
what makes people happy, especially if you're a person of good
heart,
of kind and generous demeanor - you know, we all tend to want the same
sort of things for the greater good. But to be provocative (it
was that kind of conversation), I asked her: "If you don't
have any of the things that make you happy, are you still happy?".
"Yes" she said "I'm a happy person.". I persisted "So you describe
yourself as a happy person like you're a natural blonde, right?
But you don't
create
the color of your hair, do you? It just grows that way, yes? You really
have no say in it, do you?".
There was
quiet
for a few moments. It's a pivotal point. If you describe yourself as
happy, and you don't have any say in what makes you happy, is that
really happiness?
"I'm always expecting good things" she said. "In other
words"
I continued,
"you would say you have a positive outlook on Life.".
"That's right" she answered, "I do. I expect good things.". Ah!
Expectation. It was an opening I was waiting for.
Definition
expectation
noun
the feeling that good things are going to happen in the future
<unquote>
There's
nothing wrong
with this
dictionary definition.
It fits what expectation is for us. And that's food for thought:
expectation is predicated on what? On a feeling ... and a
feeling is predicated on what? The autonomic nervous
system? Axons? Dendrites? Synapses? Hormones? Enzymes? That's
not what I would call a strong foundation for making things happen. If
I say I have a feeling good things are going to happen ... it's my own
expectation which leaves me powerless in the matter of
what actually happens - which is to say it's my own expectation of what
will happen, which leaves me without power in the matter of what
actually happens.
This is risky talk, this
conversation for
transformation,
this teasing out possibility as a distinction with power.
It's the skill I alluded to earlier. And it's a learned skill, a skill
learned through practice. In all likelihood, you didn't get the
distinction access to possibility until someone went out
on a limb and shared it with you - I certainly didn't. Similarly,
sharing
Werner's work
with people as an access to possibility, requires going out on a limb.
Drawing a distinction between expectation and
possibility in a conversation, for example, isn't your
business as
usual
water cooler small talk chit chat. Drawing a distinction between
expecting to be happy, and the possibility of being
happy in a conversation, isn't your Monday morning
quarterback's bloated opinion.
Werner
Erhard
opens up
the world
of possibility by asserting
language
is its access, its blunt instrument. It's a simple enough
assertion. But then again, all great truths are simple once they're
known. Simple, yes. But easy? That's for you to decide.
That's for you to try on for size. I asked
Werner
about this as we sat alone having
a drink
together (nothing more than room temperature filtered water - that's
all): "Can we really be happy just by each of us saying 'I'm
happy'?". I'll share his answer with you. I suggest you listen it
as possibility - not as positive thinking and certainly not as "the
truth". Rather, as I said, just try it on for size. He said (I'm
paraphrasing - my recreation here of what he said is pretty darn
accurate, but it's not a verbatim quote):
Whenever you say "I'm ...", the very
next
thing to come out of your mouth shapes your world. Whenever
you say "I'm ... unhappy", it's the simple
linguistic
act
of saying "I'm unhappy" which is "I'm unhappy.".
Similarly, whenever you say "I'm ... happy", it's the
linguistic act
of saying "I'm happy" which is "I'm happy.". And this (I
added it for her - he didn't say this
next
part exactly) is being happy like a possibility not like
an expectation. There's an enormous balance of power in
favor of what you can command (which is to say, in favor of what you
can have) as the result of the possibility invented by a
linguistic act
as opposed to the result of an expectation ie as opposed to the result
of a feeling - in other
words,
as opposed to the result of the random
machinations
of the autonomic nervous system. Again, that's not "the truth". Rather,
just try it on for size.
She got it - I could tell. What she got was the enormous balance of
power in favor of what you can command (which is to say, in favor of
what you can have) as the result of the possibility invented by a
linguistic act
as opposed to the result of an expectation. She said she would register
herself to
participate
in
Werner's work
at the earliest available opportunity.
"Congratulations!" I said. "Thank you. It sounds wonderful" she
replied, adding "I expect good things from it.".
"Stop doing that"
I winked at her, smiling.
