Conversations For Transformation: Essays Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

Conversations For Transformation

Essays By Laurence Platt

Inspired By The Ideas Of Werner Erhard

And More


At Home As Self

Fairfield Inn, American Canyon, California, USA

June 30, 2012



This essay, At Home As Self, is the second in an open group of Experiences Of A Friend:
  1. Stepping Back
  2. At Home As Self
  3. Empty Windows
  4. Futile Like A Freedom
  5. Shut Up And Do What You're Doing
  6. Werner As Intention
  7. Who He Is For Himself
  8. Source Quote
  9. Puzzle Solved, Mind Unraveled
  10. Eye To Eye
  11. Mystical Connection II
  12. Relentless
  13. Being Around Werner
  14. Being Always In Action: A Possibility
  15. Shaken Up And Teary
  16. On Being Sad
  17. The Complete Presentation
  18. Force Of Nature
  19. Everyone's In Love With Everyone
  20. I'm Old School
  21. Werner At The Speed Of Choice
  22. I Get Who You Are From What They Do
  23. The Significance - Not What Happened
  24. You Know I Love You - And I Know You Love Me
  25. Speaking To People's Relationship With Werner
  26. A Master At Being (And Having People Be)
  27. Werner As Source
  28. A Man Who's All There
  29. My Heart And You
  30. Mind Control
  31. Again And Again And Again And Again And Again And Again
  32. Unwavering
so far, in that order.

It is also the fifth in a septology on Self:


I gradually realized he doesn't allocate his resources the same way as me. That is to say, he doesn't allocate his resources the same way as I allocated my resources before I met him. Before I met him I measured allocating my resources in time. Because that's what I had: twenty four hours worth every day. Whatever I allocated as resources all had to come out of my twenty four hours worth total daily allowance.

As I got to know him, as I came into knowing a new possibility for being, I realized the way I held allocating resources out of my twenty four hours worth total daily allowance, was kind of ... well ... quaint. Being around him, I started sensing the possibility of allocating my resources like he does: allocating resources out of space  rather than out of time. Whereas before I might have asked myself "Do I have enough time  to do this?" (to be sure, in the beginning I had no clue  there was any other way to ask it), as I watched him at work I started seeing how I could ask a much more powerful question by asking not about time but instead about being  ... like this: "Do I have enough being, do I have enough Self, do I have enough space  to do this?".

That's transformation. I'll be be honest with you: I love the life I get to live this way. I've not got much interest in having my old life back and doing Life that way again. Honest I don't.

When I first met him I knew he was great. That much was unmistakable. Great like nothing going on. Great like open, accessible, and available. Great like listening to you as if you're the most important thing going on in the universe right now. Great like radiating love and knowing you notice  he's radiating love. Great like having passed the point of being driven to figure Life out. Great like having gotten to the point of knowing there never was  anything to figure out in the first place.

Great like when you're with him, you get it too - by sheer osmosis  and direct infusion. Great in that way. Great like that.

The undistinguished greatness  (if you will) you get from a person when you first meet them, creates a clearing to get the depth of their greatness over time as you watch them work, as you watch how  they work. If it's the greatness of the first meeting which gets you to see their  greatness, then it's watching them work over time which gets you to see the possibility of your own greatness.

At least that's how he landed for me. I don't measure allocating my life by time any more - at least there's now ample evidence I don't have to. I measure allocating my life and my resources, by being. In doing so, I discover this is when Life catapults from the dull, from the drab and the ordinary, springing clear over the merely extraordinary  and not stopping until the realm of the miraculous is reached. And you don't have to be at home for it to happen either. The possibility is it happens evenly wherever you are. That's because you only and always are really and truly at home as Self.

That's the greatness I got access to and was blown away balls to the wall  inspired by - starting with a greatness like nothing going on  and then coming to maturity with a greatness like allocating life and resources by being rather than by time. To say it's anything less than a privilege to be around it and bear witness to it and participate with it, is really not to tell the truth at all.



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