This essay,
Evidence Of
Source,
is the sixth in the open second group of
Experiences Of A Friend
(click
here
for the complete first group of thirty five
Experiences Of A Friend):
He has a degree of certainty about him that's (in a
word)
uncanny. Secondarily, what he's certain about occurs in the domain of
what he does. Primarily, what I'm
speaking to
here isn't that: it's what occurs in the domain of who he
be's - to be explicit, what I'm
speaking to
here occurs in the domain of
who he is.
I'm pretty certain about most things in
my life.
I'm especially certain about those things I've
chosen
to take on and be
responsible
for. I
tested
the
waters
(so to
speak)
before I took them on, and I
test
them again from
time
to
time
as I engage with them ongoingly. So now I'm pretty certain about them.
Yet if you notice something I do, and you offer me a compliment, a part
of the
little
me will go "Oh! You noticed! Thank you!". It would be like
a validation for me. In other
words,
my own certainty about what I do, typically provides me with a 99%
confirmation of what I've taken on. But there's another 1% that's not
certain: it's only kinda sorta certain. So if on top of
that 99% certainty you notice what I do and you compliment me, that
would validate me and make me
100%
certain. I would thank you for the compliment, but not merely because
you complimented me: I would thank you because by validating me, you
made my 99% certainty a
100%
certainty.
His
being
certain, on the other hand, doesn't require that. His certainty is
100%.
It's always100%.
To be sure, for most of us skittish
human beings,
it's a rare quality - very rare. And it's not a certainty
that
comes from
arrogance. It's not a certainty that's pretended,
acted
out, or faked. It's a certainty that
comes frombeing
certain.
He's not validated by compliments. Rather, he
simply
doesn't require them. Please don't misunderstand what I just
said.
I don't
mean
he doesn't accept compliments graciously. But
watch:
accepting a compliment and
being
validated by one, are totally different
linguistic
domains. When you offer me a compliment, I'm left validated by the
compliment. But when I offer him a compliment, on the other hand, what
I'm left with is that I complimented him (he already
knows!).
It is (as I've
said)
a quality unlike any other quality in any other
human being
I've ever
known.
And every
timeI'm around him,
I'm once again reminded of exactly
how
unlike any other
human being's
quality it is.
Looking
for the title of this essay, I
came up
with various descriptors, all of which didn't
fit
or convey what I wanted to
share
accurately. So I
came up
with more, and then with more, and then with some more,
looking
for the one which
fit
best. The one I've settled on,
Evidence Of
Source,
is the most
fitting
one I could muster. And if I
come up
with a better
fitting
one later, I'll retitle this essay (which, by
the way,
is one of the big advantages of
working
in an
internet
medium like this - over,
say,
writing a book:
once a book is
written,
printed, and published, existing versions can no longer be changed).